Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, my mom ate some flowers without knowing if they were safe. Turns out they are slightly poisonous and she had an upset stomach, but she will be fine. Her excuse? "I didn't know it had poison." I had to explain that's exactly why you don't eat plants you don't know are poisonous or not. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
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Top comments
nuggetmonster 12
I guess you could say she's not the brightest crayon in the box.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Keep calm and crayon.
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Comments (124)
JMichael 25
Well maybe they tasted like snozzberries OP. You never know.
Kifferella 2
As the parent of a teenager with pica, we're always on the hunt for things he can satisfy his needs with that won't damage him. We've had a couple of people confuse him saying "they're non-toxic" for some sort of idiot belief that the non-toxic item is acceptable or encouraged to be eaten. He knows they're not - he's just trying to tell people he did his basic safety homework. I'd do a quick review of her phrasing, because she might be telling you something, lol
perdix 29
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, and Pica ain't just a printing term. Just give her a few wax and she'll straighten up ;)
suri23 11
Get her iron levels checked-she could be anemic. People can crave all kinds of weird shit if anemic.
little_one1 14
Well at least her poop will be of lively colors.
Fuaaad1994 31
Maybe she had no skittles but still wanted to taste the rainbow.
sanecatlady 13
When I was a little girl I never cared for coloring with crayons much. I didn't like the waxy feel of them on my hands or the paper. Plus they have no flavor at all.
Chris93Jones 20
We've all thought about it.
worldclassrager 39
Well that's better than getting high...
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Hmmm...I was never tempted to eat them. I was really into melting them onto the light bulb in my lamp. Made very pretty colors. :)
blackonblight 32
You did that too? I thought I was odd for loving to melt crayons on light bulbs.