Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, my mom ate some flowers without knowing if they were safe. Turns out they are slightly poisonous and she had an upset stomach, but she will be fine. Her excuse? "I didn't know it had poison." I had to explain that's exactly why you don't eat plants you don't know are poisonous or not. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
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Top comments
nuggetmonster 12
I guess you could say she's not the brightest crayon in the box.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Keep calm and crayon.
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Comments (124)
CNHO1997 11
Best. Username. Ever.
jamalhol 5
She eating other thing then crayons
justindrew14 29
OMG THIS SOUND LIKE ME!!!
molleyla 7
Apparently they are toxic, since it damages your brain. You should have that talk with her when she was 3 before its too late now.
zomgbies 17
You raised that intellectual wonder, your fault. lmao
jeniaisling 6
You dropped her on her head before, eh?
neo08061972 12
I have heard that the next generation is always get smarter. what you say, there is no hope at all
AloysiusWeasley 15
In all fairness, I would understand the urge to try them if they were scented. I tried that in elementary school with a chocolate-scented one, but sadly they aren't flavored too. :( The paper-mache was pretty good though! :D
blala2733 5
Your kid probably has pica!! An eating disorder in which she craves and eats things that aren't food
DeadlyAmbition 4
she go to Sunday school?