Miscellaneous: Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They...

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 098

You deserved it 3 925

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Same thing different taste

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 901

You deserved it 4 872

By srs - 11/08/2018 20:30

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 071

You deserved it 506

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 213

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 83

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 141

By HiRveryone - 05/03/2018 19:08 - United States - Centre

Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 978

You deserved it 383

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 847

You deserved it 4 609

By DrunkParents - 31/03/2015 23:32 - United States - Billings

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 837

You deserved it 2 727

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 219

You deserved it 5 372

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 148

You deserved it 2 751

genesisnirvana 11

Monday 4 July 2011 12:01

your parents are a win.

Andrewlostnow 3

Monday 4 July 2011 12:04

your lucky all my mom and dad do is purr and meow

Comments

MyKeyy 0

Monday 4 July 2011 12:23

#SWAG

Garyy_fml 11

Monday 4 July 2011 17:39

why would you use a hashtag on FML?

blackvyper 8

Monday 4 July 2011 12:26

You better hope that kind of fun is genetic.

Tess_fml 7

Monday 4 July 2011 12:27

Sounds like a fun time to me! and LOL @ 3

YurLyfeSucks 0

Monday 4 July 2011 12:30

Just watch, a video of this will be the next viral vid on YouTube.

warsha 0

Monday 4 July 2011 12:30

Dammit... you had to bark back at them! that would back them off!!

sirdolittle 0

Monday 4 July 2011 12:31

You live in Hawaii, your life can't suck ! *jealous*

808Boyo 4

Monday 4 July 2011 13:02

haha Hawaii is the shit...lived here my whole life and still growin in the 808 State!

teresa96706 29

Monday 4 July 2011 20:40

lol I thought I was one of the only people that live in Hawaii (other than my friends) that read FML.

lovepebbles 1

Monday 4 July 2011 13:03

thats totally something i would do ...

Person1233 12

Monday 4 July 2011 19:48

Get drunk or just the barking part? Because I don't think 12 year olds should drink. Hell, most adults can't handle alcohol.

chelseaaababyyy 17

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:25

god, i hope she doesnt mean drink. kids start that shit way too early. save it for college.

NomadicFlo 4

Monday 4 July 2011 13:21

......and then you say your grandma only has one dog....

rattusrattus 18

Monday 4 July 2011 13:22

Look, look, you're missing the whole point. Now you have... BLACKMAIL MATERIAL!!!

DocBastard 38

Monday 4 July 2011 13:33

They sound like party animals.

smurfsarwales 9

Monday 4 July 2011 14:28

ur first comment that has under a million likes... you're losing your touch doc.

MsSoulReaper 27

Monday 4 July 2011 14:58

Not everyone can be on top for long. I say it's hard to come up with awesome comments that everyone will love.

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The Top

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 595

You deserved it 3 759

Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 313

The Top

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 288

You deserved it 4 609

Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 249

You deserved it 8 066

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 2 082

Today, my boyfriend canceled our date last-minute. He claimed he had no time because he had to iron his towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 822

You deserved it 2 278

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 451

You deserved it 8 785

Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 201