Miscellaneous: Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They...

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 099

You deserved it 3 925

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Same thing different taste

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 902

You deserved it 4 872

By srs - 11/08/2018 20:30

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 072

You deserved it 506

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 213

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 83

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 141

By HiRveryone - 05/03/2018 19:08 - United States - Centre

Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 978

You deserved it 383

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 848

You deserved it 4 609

By DrunkParents - 31/03/2015 23:32 - United States - Billings

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 837

You deserved it 2 727

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 220

You deserved it 5 374

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 149

You deserved it 2 751

genesisnirvana 11

Monday 4 July 2011 12:01

your parents are a win.

Andrewlostnow 3

Monday 4 July 2011 12:04

your lucky all my mom and dad do is purr and meow

Comments

piratesarz 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:49

Why do you care? That's hilarious.

AwesomeAustin21 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 22:22

that is what every normal person does when they are drunk dummy head :)

SouthernSweetie 13

Thursday 7 July 2011 11:40

that's hilarious don't be a party pooper!

RhynoBruZ 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 16:10

think they call em Kiddy Locks bro, ur in control of thr button,

shelby_sevenfold 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 19:14

Hahah, your parents are more winning than Charlie Sheen.

GreenDayyyyyy 0

Friday 8 July 2011 0:23

lol

nyoungwv 0

Friday 8 July 2011 6:21

one word muzzle.

ToeJams 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 10:19

her parents are cool as hell! her dad was telling me about that night at work before I saw this! lmao

spollywollyolly 3

Monday 11 July 2011 4:18

my mum threatens to "smash th *****" who are innocently walking along th footpath FML.

greeneyedgoalie7 0

Friday 15 July 2011 6:12

my friends do this while sober

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 934

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 210

You deserved it 3 633

The Top

Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 440

You deserved it 12 089

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 013

You deserved it 4 379

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 811

You deserved it 5 337

Today, I woke up at noon after barely sleeping. I've been diagnosed with sleeping disorders, so this isn't out of the ordinary. The issue is, my boyfriend doesn't think it's a big deal, and is mad at me for wanting to stay in bed after he got up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 152

Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 872

You deserved it 47 841

Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 735

You deserved it 562