By mysidesaresplitting - 14/12/2012 06:44 - United States - Oxford

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 354
You deserved it 2 249

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Damn. That sounds painful.

Why were you using broken ribs? Did you run out of toilet paper?

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Damn. That sounds painful.

Doesn't sound painful.. It is painful >.<

That sucks.. But Wait until You have one those sudden Sneezes, You will see flashbacks of everything that's sad in this world. I feel your Pain OP

Maybe that is why this is on FML #1.....

That's a shitty situation.

Hopefully they're not one of those people that sneeze 5 times in a row

It is excruciatingly painful. I know because when I was ten I fractured three ribs three times. It is the worst pain you could feel, and you have to deal with traumatic arthritis for the rest of your life. I hope you feel better OP.

It is excruciatingly painful. I know because when I was ten I fractured three ribs three times. It is the worst pain you could feel, and you have to deal with traumatic arthritis for the rest of your life. I hope you feel better OP.

45-Hanging the body for public display or need some help disposing of it?

45 - You need a permit to hunt Shitty Situationites here. A license will cost you 35$ upfront and 5$ per kill. It doesn't include First-ivores, however, as the mods always have priority over their hunting grounds.

I've broken 7 ribs at a time before. I understand OP's pain. It sucks to sneeze too. :(

Hey hey! I'm the assassin and only I give out the permits.. >.> They have to join my assassin guild to get one.. >.>

Ouch that sounds brutal. Having bronchitis with bruised and broken ribs is also quite torturous.

I know exactly how ya feel. It is even worse with herniated discs and pinched nerve. But sorry to hear ya have that problem mend fast and well

Can only imagine how much that must hurt.

It would be better if he took some laxatives...

Stool softener.

Yeah, I flinched when I read this. Ouch.

To every one who suggested stool softeners or laxatives: it doesn't make a difference. I feel sorry for when OP finally sneezes. When I broke 4 ribs, my first sneeze made me cry like a little girl, who was 5 years old, that just feel off her bike. Coughing hurts just as badly. I hope you recover quickly, OP, because the healing process takes a while and and I know you're not in a cast. Best of luck on a quick recovery!

Don't sneeze. Just some friendly advice. If you feel one coming on, plug your nose, inhale through your mouth, and hold your breath till it passes.

Dumbasses!! GTFO, 31...

Interesting. What happens if you scream TAQUITOS?

Or couldn't you place a pillow around the area or is that only for abdominal surgery? Or maybe he could ask for a stool softener?

54- It's longer, but I've noticed, "Quick! What color is a white horse?!" Works all the time. Sad to say pineapples didn't on my friend.

56 - I know I often clutch a pillow while I'm pooping... On second thought, no. No, I don't.

Or take your finger and press on your upper lip right below your nose, there is a nerve there that will stop the sneeze.

If it makes u feel good, it's better than having hiccups with broken ribs.

He felt bad because it hurt. Telling him that won't make his memories hurt less. It will only make his future more scary.... poops and hiccups.

It's better than pradip's comments' thumbs down to thumbs up ratio, that's for sure

Actually i was referring to a FML which was: Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML 14-that's encouraging till yesterday, there were just thumb downs and today you are considering ratio!

5- For some reason, whenever I see your profile picture, and then see all of the thumbs down, I laugh uncontrollably. Your comments just seem so much funnier and I'm not sure why.

Pradip I'm pretty sure you're just being thumbed down because you're you...

Your #17 comment was actually good! Poor pradip...

More like poor OP

Ben Roethlesgerger? haha

Way to butcher his name.

No, Tim Tebow. Lol

His name was butchered in the first place lol.

Well Op in that situation it would be best not to push. Just let it go as long as it takes, slow and steady wins the race here.

Why were you using broken ribs? Did you run out of toilet paper?

Try Miralax. It doesn't make you go, just makes it easier to go. Slides right out. But not real runny, just soft.

Taco Bell for lunch with a nice Butter Chicken dinner. Works every bit as well, and tastes good too.

Okay, I don't want to be anal, but enough with the ribbing, crappy jokes aren't nice when someone's in pain!

You might be on the wrong website...

ooohhhh, anal with broken ribs. That's a trooper, right there.

18, it could not have been anymore clear that they were using a clever play of words to be humorous...some people are just so damned dense.

I see what you did there...

My advice to you, lay off the fiber for awhile, eat lots of greasy foods and turn those turds into soup. I think that a good case of the soupy shits is better than trying to push out Lincoln logs. Good Luck!

Just a question, but isn't fibre supposed to help you go easier and softer? You know, like bran fibre? I'm pretty sure it is. That's why some doctors give you a list of high fibre foods to keep in your diet after a colonoscopy. We may need Doc's opinion here...

Too much fiber not enough water = constipation. Fiber and lots of water = regular. Diarrhea-ish would be less painful for op.