Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I crashed my motorbike and broke both my arms. I now have to rely on my mom and aunt taking turns to do everything for me. FML
Today, after my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer, I'd packed my belongings and quit my job to go help my mom take care of him. Now she's had a stroke, so I spend my days/nights taking care of both of them. The thing is, I have 3 siblings that live within 5 miles that can't lift a finger to help. I love my parents. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, a day after my mom and I got the vaccine, we've been doing everything around the house with one hand each through the pain. My dad hasn't helped out at all despite my requests, and sees nothing wrong with this. FML
Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML
Today, I was in a car accident with my dad. A wheel slammed into my door, dislocating my arm and breaking it in three places. Later on, the people who hit us came over and gave my little sister a gift basket. She wasn't even in the car. FML
Today I ran across the street to help a woman who had fallen off her bicycle. While running, I tripped and broke my arm. Surgery is needed. FML
Today, during my second shift back at work after missing four weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need three weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML
Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
I find this humerus.
Quinn32 16
Well at least the surgeries went alright.
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Comments (80)
ManInTheMachine 20
Your tears only make me stronger.
ScarletBloom 14
Ask god for another arm and it will be given to you.
raraisbang 12
Pretty sure it doesn't work that way. But hey, I could be wrong.....
gracehi 33
It's a Bible verse reference: "Ask and ye shall receive." But I wonder, if OP was created in God's image, but then God gives OP another arm, is OP no longer in God's image? O.o
chippa 24
Well, I thought the comment was funny. Pretty sure she wasn't being serious, 30.
ScarletBloom 14
35 - OP didn't state that his arm was amputated. So he has his arm still according to god's image but not functioning. Btw, nice pic of Daryl.
xKites 4
The way you said "another arm" made it sound like it was amputated.
gracehi 33
Thanks. :) And I thought you meant God would give him a third arm if he asked, hence my question.
arabia_fml 0
Phil 4:13 look it up in the bible
Izabushel 65
Phil 4:13 is 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". "Ask and you shall receive..." is in Luke.
gracehi 33
Together, you're 3/8 of an octopus. :)
noisebox 1
Who would have thought there would be a household with 3 one armed bandits...
annie_nk 23
Don't tell Harrison Ford! ;)
catchbigtuna 0
Must suck being 50 and still living at home
KiddNYC1O 22
Wait, what? Enlighten me as to how you came up with that.
whosindahouse 9
The OP has the arm... and the surgery... I don't know.
annie_nk 23
Pretty sure Ammon has more than a few arms to lend. (If anyone gets it without Google, I'd be mildly surprised.)
angel_of_death55 7
I got it without google it's cause he severed peoples arms
annie_nk 23
You win a cookie :)
CurlyGurlF 6
I get it. Is that wierd? lol
CrazyManNo9 29
This FML didn't seem all the complicated, did it?
crazycatlady5 6
Your comment doesn't seem to make all the sense, did it?
MrPlopper 9
didn't*, that much*
dessicakez 7
That's kind of cool in a way
geod69 8
That's better than one functioning arm between three people because now you don't have to wipe each others butt
imperfections55 1
Look on the brightside OP, it only takes one arm to **********! :)