Today, my date threw me out because I wouldn’t hit her in the face to really get her excited. I offered to spank her butt if she really wanted to be hit, but she wanted me to beat her until she had bruises and could taste blood. The girl had issues, so I was happy to be thrown out to be honest. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I got screamed at by a girl because I said I didn’t want to go on a date with her. I’m a gay man. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to tie her up and spank her while fucking her and calling her a slut. But heaven forbid I later scream at her during an argument. She wailed and gave me the silent treatment, all because I raised my voice. FML
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend punched me in the face, then broke up with me because apparently she'd proved that I’m a pussy who won’t stand up for myself or fight back if attacked, so if we were robbed on the street, she wouldn’t trust me to protect her. What kind of logic is this? Good riddance, psycho. FML
Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML
Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
It's a trap! If you did that, she could really have you by the balls.
poopface82 25
Why wasn’t this discussed in advance? Any kink, no matter how out there, should he ironed out first.
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
It's a trap! If you did that, she could really have you by the balls.
Iifa 7
If it be a kinky stuff then that would have been talked through, after all being sexually dominated is great if its your thing as the slave holds the power. But if this was sudden, I would report this just in case she comes back saying domestic violence. On other hand I broke of my engagement because he didn't hit me, I just couldn't imagine my life with vanilla sex when I wanted ropes, slaps and whips, I don't go as far as tasting blood, but hearing colours and seeing sound is close It's probably not something to do during the date, but then again how else to you discuss it before date? After three months together? What's the safe word, what are the consequences? What triggered her, was she looking for a victim, or to become a victim?
The_Real_Cvh 10
The shit you have to deal with when you date a female MMA fighter
poopface82 25
Why wasn’t this discussed in advance? Any kink, no matter how out there, should he ironed out first.
Chazzster 32
“Don’t stick your dick in crazy.” Is a motto to live by.
RichardPencil 32
If you don't mind missing out.
SirEnigM0nk 22
I concur. Sometimes the risk outweighs the "reward."