Today, I woke up with greasy hair, despite taking a shower last night. After washing my hair several times and it not going away, I realized that yesterday I put aerosol deodorant in my hair instead of hairspray. FML

You absolute melt

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

Great look

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

Ventilation

Today, I woke up at 4 a.m. to the smell of something burning. My husband and I checked the house, and I was convinced there was possibly an electric fire. Went back to bed, then when I woke again I remembered I'd straightened my hair the day before and that’s what the burnt smell was. FML

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

Classic mistake

Today, I was getting ready for work and I sprayed my hair to stay in place, then went to spray deodorant under my arm, but noticed that it was super sticky. No wonder my hair spray smelled like baby powder, I'd confused one product with another. FML

Slippery when wet

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

Whatcha been up to?

Today, I spilled vanilla yogurt on my pants while eating breakfast, but I forgot to clean it up. It left a very conspicuous white stain on my pants, that was there the entire day. I only noticed it when I looked in the mirror after getting home. FML

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML