Today, I had dinner with my family at a fancy restaurant. They kept commenting about how cold it was and asked the waitress to turn off the air conditioning. When I got home, I realized the embroidered daisies on my undershirt made it look like I have giant protruding nipples. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents came over. It got hot, so I took off the jacket I was wearing, but I forgot I wasn't wearing a shirt underneath. FML
Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML
Today, I've been freezing in my office for days at work. When I finally complained about it to a coworker, she led me into my office, said, "Let me show you something," then pointed out the thermostat I'd never noticed was even there and turned it up with a pitying look. FML
Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML
Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML
Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML
Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I went out to a store. I didn't have a bra on under my shirt, but some stranger offered to buy me one, because she didn't like the fact that my nipples were hard, and her husband was able to see them. FML
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Top comments
JolynnConley8 0
at least your faimly was nice enough to do that without embarrassing you
werzal 5
Getting VERY sick of this FIRST Bull Sh*t! Who really gives a flying F*ck If your FIRST OR FIFTIETH!
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Comments (56)
mahree8mellos 0
LMFAO!!!! LOL, this totally made my day!
OnTheRun 0
genuine!
Mx_Rider 6
youre a trooper! but ydi for wearing shirts like that fyl indeed......
MadVlrus 1
Don't u look in the mirror b4 u go out? YDI
akhockey6 0
don't you look at yourself before you leave??? hahah sucks for you! fyl
Catiie9595 0
oh my
sugarycupcake 0
ydi for not looking in the mirror carefully before leaving
OriginalPooh01 0
What does daisies and nipples have to do with a resturant. YDI for making me confused. >:D
sunlovinmama 1
This was hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing! You made your family extremely uncomfortable, did one of them offer you a coat or something?
SkoomaKi 28
Hard nipples FTW