Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
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Top comments
paprikacha 9
I cannot think of any situation in which someone would need to piss all over the toilet paper, besides them being a straight up asshole. Wow.
Why4426 0
priceless
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Comments (169)
ILoveEggnog 7
Would you want to rub dried urine upon your anus?
Euronova 0
Pretend you're in India, where it is custom to use your hand.
DiamondFinish 0
Haha I have done that out of pure evil. Never use public restrooms for taking a shit.
DiamondFinish 0
Silly kids. The best way to do it is by dragging your ass across the floor.
truehitman2010 0
sounds like a shitty situation
DocBastard 40
Looks like another shitty use of a shitty joke that needs to die.
chammi 0
agree lol.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I agree with Doc, those jokes were never funny and never will be. Although, I don't think he should die I just think people should stop using those jokes XP
heathersmorin 0
Mhmmm
DiamondFinish 0
Really? You saw what he did there? What a stupid response. A simple lol would have been enough.
DiamondFinish 0
Not if he wanted the HERPY DERPYS.
khaya 9
Or run around in a circle with your pants off in the stall, until you're clean down there.
smileeee_fml 0
^ that was even more of a stupid response. you dont have to tell people what to write and what not to write. if you're not pleased, ignore it.
DiamondFinish 0
your mom