Intimacy: Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2015 21:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 067

You deserved it 16 795

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 823

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 036

You deserved it 1 735

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 384

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 266

You deserved it 62 361

No more late night beers

By so this is how today is going to go? - 19/06/2022 04:00

Today, I shit the bed. Like, full on shit. I had to go ahead and throw my clothes away. It made it all the way to the mattress. The worst part, it didn’t even wake me up, my alarm did, so I have no idea how long I was sleeping in my own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 312

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 380

You deserved it 4 049

Sweet release

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 03:00

Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 806

You deserved it 389

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 06:00

Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea all over my husbands legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 508

You deserved it 2 808

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 768

You deserved it 1 668

By ohn0es - 23/01/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 306

You deserved it 5 230

Bookworm257 13

Friday 30 January 2015 8:22

Since it was a one night stand, maybe you can calmly slip out, unlike your fart.

aylind 18

Friday 30 January 2015 8:15

Honestly, how could you not tell it was that kind of fart coming down the pipes? Usually those feel different man. Still, sucks to be you right now. Hope she didn't go ape shit.

Comments

NamelessFace 22

Saturday 31 January 2015 5:36

Don't you know that causes spontaneous combustion???

travellingfun 18

Saturday 31 January 2015 6:20

play it off cool and blame it on her.

hemsky 18

Saturday 31 January 2015 7:04

That's pretty shitty

msbeans 13

Saturday 31 January 2015 8:49

That's hilariously gross

Fas4wd 13

Saturday 31 January 2015 12:41

What was wrong with popping to the toilet for a sec??

A_Net_70 7

Saturday 31 January 2015 17:39

Ohh now I know why it's a one night stand she will never want you in her bed again now she has to burn her sheets and maybe her mattress! That's gross

MrCantgetright 4

Saturday 31 January 2015 21:37

just leave. get dressed and walk out without saying anything.

Sathane 21

Saturday 31 January 2015 22:27

So she obviously didn't have a bathroom in her home, right? Because if she did you would have gone there, right?

rabbitstew45 4

Sunday 1 February 2015 1:34

Shit outta luck!

kalbrek009 20

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:22

As is done? Never heard that before, yet if it was a one nighter...why had you not just excused your self to the bathroom before releasing a kraken in the bed? That's sooooo nasty!