Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she doesn't want a physical relationship, but an emotional one instead. I said that I was fine with that, as long as we talked things through in the future. She dumped me there and then, because "no straight guy would agree to that." FML
Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML
Today, a "friend" of mine told everyone that I had a crush on a girl I used to be really good friends with 2 years ago. I never liked her that way, and had said that only to hide the fact that I'm gay and don't feel safe with boys. Her current boyfriend is seriously annoyed with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, the woman I thought I had friend-zoned dumped me because she has "met someone new." I really like her as a friend but felt zero attraction, so after one date I went out of my way not to give off the wrong signals when talking or meeting. It turns out she thought I was on my way out of the "relationship" anyway. FML
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Top comments
SelenaMilkshake 17
Well she sounds lovely.
EpicSquishii 21
Perfect opportunity to embarrass the hell out of her. Or you can just troll her and post a picture of you kissing your boyfriend with the caption "You turned me gay."
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Comments (102)
thursday817 6
I'm sorry for your loss.
EpicSquishii 21
Perfect opportunity to embarrass the hell out of her. Or you can just troll her and post a picture of you kissing your boyfriend with the caption "You turned me gay."
RamenForTheWin 10
I fully support this. Please. DO IT.
Grimnirwher9 21
Oooh I like the way you think. Please do this, OP, this is a golden opportunity!
RoseBlack123 37
Does she know you're gay? Or is she that clueless?
EpicSquishii 21
I'm not gay. What on earth would possess you to come to such an outlandish conclusion? Is it the über sexual mustache? What nerve. I'll have you know, I---- Oh wait you're talking to the OP, you threadjacking swine!
diaspora_fml 26
Being free of such delusional people is quite a positive thing.
Tpracingkg 15
Maybe she wants you?
VeganVampyre 27
... You think? Cause I didn't get that at all.
Mynameislinh 24
As long as your partner and you don't mind about that "friend" of yours, I don't think it's all that bad. Although de-friend her and move on. FYL OP.
karlcolt45 19
heartbreaker over here!
kaedynsmom0325 13
..shes a nut job..
bombtastic 10
what I dont get is how in the world did she think you guys were dating? did you show her some sort of affection that could put that idea into her head?
maximus_prime 24
Don't you just hate it when you get dumped over Facebook.
OverFlash 15
Don't you just hate when you're straight/bi and don't know it?
itsgen 16
Was she having a super blond moment ?
NurseJonathan 9
Maybe you were having a super bad comment moment?
MissCharlotte_fml 26
That would have been a very lengthy blonde moment