Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I bought ingredients for one of my favorite meals and went home to take a nap. When I woke up, my sister had cooked them for everyone else in the house, who ate it all without me. I was told that I shouldn't be angry, but instead proud of my adult sister because, "She cooked!" FML
Today, after working all day to make a big vegan meal for my family, hoping it would get them to become vegans as well, my brother thought it appropriate to pass around a block of cheese for everyone to grate over the pasta dish. FML
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML
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Top comments
heyyou1203 0
ewwwwwwwwwwwwww ew ew ew ew ew do NOT trust your sister ever again!!! And LukeDog, STFU.
dogperiod 0
Just what were you eating that you never realized it wasn't ACTUAL cheese? Did you wolf the food down? And hahahaha, it's a bit funny.
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Comments (168)
conan6 0
YDI for buying cheese grater for feet.
spoo 24
I think FML is screwing up, third post in a row that didnt go in the right spot
av232 0
ah i know. i see to many replies that don't make sense.
FarSide 23
What was the fight about? Either sue her, or take your clenched fist and deliver a short, solid, square punch straight into her pubic bone. I guarantee you will not just get even, you will get ahead.
ily1210 10
LMFAO I LAFFED SO HARD AT THAT
FarSide 23
What was the fight about? Either sue her, or take your clenched fist and deliver a short, solid, square punch straight into her pubic bone. I guarantee you will not just get even, you will get ahead.
wikifoo 0
just wrong
Plumppotato 3
hot
plexico 4
You seem to be OK with EATING foot shavings, it's KNOWING that you are eating foot shavings that disgusted you. Hmmmm.
stray94 0
she had to eat some of it before she could realize it wasn't cheese... maybe she did taste it and knew it wasn't cheese right away i don't know if i'll be able to eat lunch when i'm hungry... eww
Suree 0
I guess your sister liked the Southpark episode where Cartman made chilli....
uthinkurfunny 0
haha that was so funny but kinda sad
barbie_9941 13
haha nooo not quite..
nmlutgen 11
Two very different things.
deerhunter_fml 0
:O that's brutal one of sickest things i've heard.
deerhunter_fml 0
:O that's brutal one of sickest things i've heard.
cassiljiha 0
Yeah, I know. I would neverrr do that to my sister. (hope FML doesn't screw up and put this somewhere else :-/)
um_duh 0
I guess the shavings smell & look like parmesan but didn't the fact that it didn't melt into the dish give it away? I'd disown her for that. What a bitchy thing to do