Miscellaneous: Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear... - FML

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:24 - Australia

Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear the postman at the door. He never came. I stink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 559

You deserved it 74 956

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Same thing different taste

Whiffy

By Uber Chad - 25/03/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 358

Health hazard

By lacie - 08/04/2021 21:30

Today, multiple customers have complained about my body odor. Not only can I not smell anything, but I shower three times a day and brush my teeth seven times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 127

Febreze

By stinky - 21/05/2023 03:00

Today, my mom yelled at me because even though I shower thoroughly twice a day, I still stink. My mom showers once a week, never wears deodorant, and smells like roses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 123

By Ishowet - 31/05/2017 12:00 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 473

Hot and heavy

By k…… - 10/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 113

By ohray - 11/12/2014 16:09 - Turkey - Kibris

Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 503

You deserved it 3 115

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 04:04

Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 860

By stinky - 24/01/2012 08:15 - United States

Today, my co-worker handed me a note. The note said, "If you can, please take a shower once in a while." The smell was coming from the broken bathroom next to my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 808

You deserved it 2 668

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 160

You deserved it 2 357

Been there before

By OopsieDoopsie - 03/04/2023 04:00 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I'm so chronically sleep-deprived that I sprayed a bathroom air freshener under my arms instead of my deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 170

Next

Top comments

slyvanilla_creme 0

Monday 16 February 2009 7:18

are you like a mailman stalker? i'm a bit lost....other than the fact that you stank and could take a shower later....?????

Sessee 4

Saturday 21 March 2009 10:38

Dude, just take a shower.

Comments

rhyspiecesno8 18

Friday 1 April 2016 21:19

What's happening is that she's waiting for a package she has to sign for and she doesn't want to take a shower and then the guy cums while she's in the shower

TheNoNameGuy 20

Thursday 28 April 2016 9:57

it's not that bad. lol they should be understanding that you were at least trying to speak their language

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 28 April 2016 9:57

You mean the full monty right?

fushengyuan 20

Thursday 28 April 2016 10:36

Sounds fun to me. Now ppl will rmb u now

royalmint 11

Thursday 28 April 2016 13:11

Haaha as a ballet dancer, this is funny? makes Swan Lake sound so less sought after

DaniealThePope 18

Thursday 28 April 2016 14:16

Just say that some one set you up. It has happened to me. I accidentally called a French man a " large ass" because of my brother.

bellydancer82 15

Thursday 28 April 2016 15:47

Actually, us Germans prefer Schniedelteich XD (I hope someone on here gets it...)

Anubis94 24

Thursday 28 April 2016 20:57

Don't hide your desires

chosha_fml 26

Friday 29 April 2016 0:30

It'll make a great story forever, as soon as OP can tell it without blushing. :)

SOILEDIT 51

Thursday 16 June 2016 17:55

Probably shoulda taken a shower the night before if that was the case.

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The Top

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 226

You deserved it 4 768

Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 906

You deserved it 2 784

The Top

Today, the guy I’ve been hanging out with and crushing on told me we now know each other well enough to be completely open with each other. I was excited, thinking our mild flirtations would finally go further. He just wanted me to know he’s gay, and asked me if I knew any single guys for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 182

Today, the 61 year-old Vice-President of our company complained about a blister to four landscapers working outside in the July heat, for 10 minutes. He then made me carry his lunch bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 92

Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 120

Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 822

You deserved it 32 536

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 169

You deserved it 3 165

Today, I was going running. It was an especially windy day and things were flying through the wind. Apparently, bodily fluid can also fly through the wind. Turns out, a women was barfing over a bridge and the wind caught it and it flew through the air. Right into my face and body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 412

You deserved it 3 832