Money: Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/10/2013 07:09 - China - Shanghai

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 338

You deserved it 3 486

And today, on Dr Phil…

Dementia or hate? You decide

Can't handle it

By Owned - 29/01/2009 00:32 - Taiwan

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 900

You deserved it 28 231

By andi0804 - 05/08/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 791

You deserved it 3 571

By Anonymous - 21/05/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 719

You deserved it 59 832

By Anonymous - 08/02/2013 22:38 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 363

You deserved it 3 295

By Smokey - 31/07/2017 00:30

Today, I found out that my neighbours are mad at me because I smoke. I don't smoke on the balcony, I walk away from the apartment complex so that they won't be affected by my bad habit. They're still mad at me because they can still see me. Didn't know that you could smell with your eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 455

You deserved it 870

Bugging out

By Jordan - 02/04/2015 19:58 - Jordan - Amman

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 547

You deserved it 8 430

By nerd - 16/10/2009 15:08 - Singapore

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 325

You deserved it 5 719

By out of the closet - 26/04/2016 00:22 - Australia - Wollongong

Today, I had to tell the third guy that my mother set me up with that it wasn't him, it's me. Apparently my mother thinks if she sets me up with enough guys, I will "date the gay out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 756

You deserved it 1 519

The Guru

By Anonymous - 24/03/2020 23:13

Today, my husband told me he'd met a life guru online who, after paying the £29.99 consultancy fee, advised him to seize happiness at all times. So he decided to seize the 19 year-old redhead across the street, move in with her and get her pregnant. This is the happiest I’ve seen him in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 257

By azmom - 27/03/2012 17:51 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 245

You deserved it 26 165

By singleasapringle - 13/03/2016 06:41 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I went back to my high school for an event with some of my friends, both of which are in relationships. Whilst there we saw our favorite teacher, who hugged us and said, "I heard you have a boyfriend! And so do you!" And then she turned to me and said, "And... And you're doing great things!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 879

You deserved it 1 823

By Anthony Hathaway - 19/10/2018 13:30

Today, as I was taking the garbage out, I tripped over my own feet, causing my knee to dislocate in such a way that it shattered the back of my kneecap and fractured my femur. I guess I won't be taking the garbage out again anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 862

You deserved it 191

By CorpDrone - 03/11/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I came in to work and found the conference room white boards completely clean. My assistant wiped all the white boards where I spent 10 hours writing schedule for the next three months. I was going to meet with all supervisors to finalize that schedule today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 536

You deserved it 7 057

By Anonymous - 15/11/2011 10:50 - United States

Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 676

You deserved it 7 683

By gotadirtydick - 14/04/2017 22:00

Today, my neighbor's kid started learning the violin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 339

You deserved it 473

By Anonymous - 14/09/2018 14:30 - United States - Edinburg

Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 992

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 12:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 248

You deserved it 2 970

Queef Richards

By Anonymous - 31/10/2020 14:02

Today, I had two customers who had some questions about their phones. Walking over, my cooch graced us with an audible fart sound that I‘m sure everybody heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 114

By BrokeAsHell - 30/05/2013 08:51 - Australia - Werribee

Today, my landlord emailed me, stating that she hasn't been receiving my rent. After some investigation, I found out she's been using the money to buy booze, and hasn't been putting it into the house owner's account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 821

You deserved it 2 866

TMI

By Autumn - 18/12/2017 01:30

Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 206

You deserved it 402

By James - 18/12/2012 02:28 - United States

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 660

You deserved it 11 195

By Savannah - 15/06/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 951

You deserved it 54 978

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 115

You deserved it 3 931

By daddyrobyn - 17/04/2017 04:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I met an important figure in my line of work who also happens to know my dad, Alan. Upon meeting said person, I let my social anxiety get the best of me and I greeted him by saying, "Hi! I'm your Alan!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 377

You deserved it 644

By DumpedHisAss - 14/10/2009 15:19 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 935

You deserved it 3 734

You tried

By Anonymous - 08/06/2021 06:01

Today, in an effort to try and be closer to my girlfriend's son, I bought him an expensive Xbox game I know he desperately wanted so we could play it together. He was excited, until he realised that I that paid for it. He snapped the disc and threw the pieces in the bin. At least I tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 268

You deserved it 169

Mr Nice Guy

By Anonymous - 23/01/2021 01:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, it was our 12th anniversary. My husband only remembered because family members texted to wish us a happy anniversary. When he went out to the store to get groceries, he didn't even buy me flowers. He's also irritated that I "seem sad or something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 01:07 - United States - Elkhart

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 2 119

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, I thought I saw a snake while I was watering. I got my son to check it out and he agreed too. I was nervous so I called animal control, and they said it would cost $50 just for them to come out, I agreed. It ends up I paid $50 for them to pick up an old diamond weave farmer's hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 534

You deserved it 42 732

By mortifiedgrandchild - 09/01/2012 18:53 - United States

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 147

You deserved it 4 340

By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 039

You deserved it 1 863

By aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss - 26/08/2015 13:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 927

You deserved it 2 497

By save the koalas? uhh - 08/04/2013 14:08 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 564

You deserved it 3 493

By Unlucky - 04/09/2018 14:30

Today, I received a bill from PayPal stating I owe $350 for an account that's linked to an email that I haven't used since 2015. I can't get into the account because someone hacked it and changed the password and security questions. Customer support is no help because I have no info about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 763

You deserved it 218

By Susan - 23/08/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, I was driving my car and I thought the construction guy was flirting and waving at me. So I drove by him, waving back and hit an oil spill and my car ended up spinning out of control. He was trying to direct me away from the oil spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 852

You deserved it 43 652

By you'vegotmail(not) - 18/04/2014 23:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I realized that I get more mail addressed to the old tenant of my apartment than to me. He hasn't lived here in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 311

You deserved it 3 705

By fmlpgh - 16/02/2010 11:51 - United States

Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 497

You deserved it 2 692

By pedestrian - 26/01/2011 05:07 - United States

Today, I let my friend borrow my car. She parked it in a towing zone, and it was towed. The best part is, it was towed by a bogus towing company. The cops assure me it's safe in a chop shop somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 964

You deserved it 4 542

By ishouldhidethekeys - 04/11/2009 08:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 867

You deserved it 4 720

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 426

You deserved it 10 658

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

MrSassypants 32

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:11

You mean to tell me you didn't even get my love letter? Fine! I'm going to send a hate letter, and it will arrive the same time as my love letter!

mariepastyglue 30

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:10

Maybe there's a way you can contest the ticket, it wouldn't hurt to try Op...

Comments

mariepastyglue 30

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:10

Maybe there's a way you can contest the ticket, it wouldn't hurt to try Op...

jw90 18

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:25

Prime definition of irony.

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 16:14

Don't thread jack. It's rude.

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 18:32

why is #9 getting thumbed down?? OP's situation WAS ironic. you people need some Morriset

NoFlippinWai 24

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 21:32

maybe people dont know the definition of prime. or irony. or perhaps the dont care.

blackonblight 32

Send a private message

Thursday 10 October 2013 13:47

Don't use that song to define irony. As many will tell you, it's wrong. Look at the literary definitions. This one is ironic, but not the best example of irony. It is, however, a classic example of FYL and goddamn bureaucracy.

MrSassypants 32

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:11

You mean to tell me you didn't even get my love letter? Fine! I'm going to send a hate letter, and it will arrive the same time as my love letter!

SokDek 14

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 20:45

I don't understand this FML... I suppose that's the downside of having the shittiest public transportation in my city.

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:11

on the bright side, you have your ticket!

TylerAnderson98 10

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:12

Damn Post Office.

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:15

haha.. sorry but ur lyf really sucks.. :)

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:17

So does your mother's, for having to give birth to you and then try to raise you.

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:19

haha.. sorry but ur life really s**ks :)

A7X_all_the_way 21

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:22

Well.. Someone at the post office screwed up. .-.

niftyismybitch 21

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:34

I guess the shutdown is affecting postal services after all...

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:46

OP isn't even in the USA.

ShakenNotStirred 6

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 17:25

Luckily OP is in Shanghai...

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 18:37

12 & 35 ... I think 10 was joking. Because everyone knows that post office and government are two separate things etc. and that the post office is still open.

calilovesneb 12

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:36

Yikes, in China of all places. Wouldn't want to break any laws/rules etc. over there.

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 14:21

If we are general public in any country and we break the law, then we are in soup.

lpfreak4life6 5

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 12:53

All these people want to talk so much smack about the postal service and don't even have the slightest clue how it operates. Do you guys think fedex and ups is any better? Not hardly.

graceinsheepwear 33

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 13:13

OP is in China anyway.

lpfreak4life6 5

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 13:32

Wasn't even referring to the post. Just the people who want to bash the postal service when no one has a clue on what goes on.

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 October 2013 16:15

Then don't comment on this post.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 17

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 82

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 87