Health and Birds: Today, I had the mole on my neck removed. By my pet bird. FML

By Sarah - 18/07/2019 12:00

Today, I had the mole on my neck removed. By my pet bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 186

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By boreed - 27/12/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, I finally got an unsightly mole on my face removed. While I was shaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 018

You deserved it 4 383

By No Nip - 25/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 483

By nomorepetbird - 06/01/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 079

You deserved it 3 867

New creepypasta just dropped

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 21:00 - Australia

Today, I was sick in bed with a nasty flu. It was also the day my bird was eaten by an animal that had silently burrowed into the cage while I was recovering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 127

By Twitchy - 14/09/2011 23:20 - Bahamas

Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 757

You deserved it 3 158

By anonymous - 03/01/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 868

You deserved it 5 049

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 163

You deserved it 4 372

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 078

You deserved it 7 339

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 783

You deserved it 9 199

By flipnazn - 15/07/2011 04:24 - United States

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 733

You deserved it 10 129

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 18 July 2019 15:23

You should know that birds attack small mammals like mice, chipmunks and moles. This one is on you since you let your pet mole run around on your neck.

Skydome6666 6

Thursday 18 July 2019 12:26