Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I saved a woman from being mugged, and stayed with her until the police arrived. At which point she ignored me completely, and thanked the handsome 20-something police officer for making her feel safe, like I did nothing. Ungrateful cow. Next time the mugger can have your handbag. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
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Top comments
ShleeG 23
Maybe start taking some self defence classes. Although you shouldn't feel bad being saved by a 15 year old. Kickass people come in all shapes and sizes
Tripartita 45
Nice, an early draft of the Deadpool screenplay got published as an FML! Man, Negasonic Teenage Warhead was an awesome character.
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Comments (67)
laurellkawes 31
That girl is awesome!!!
Eror_No_Name 15
Let me just say, goth girls can be tough. Some of those girls in my school scare the crap out of the jocks so don't beat yourself up about it. (Although the mugger already seems to have done that for you.)
BabooonLove 16
I don't understand why the girl needs to be labeled as goth.
kharwood1208 14
sorry for your luck on that, but hell yea, you rock young lady.
pancakessdsjsn 17
Goth chicks are badass. Don't mess with them.
blue343 1
I bet you it was hit girl
danman27 15
I hope you're ok?
themostunlucky_fml 14
Learn Bjj
BillysBurgers 5
No one can deny you tried to fight back. Hope your nose heals up soon.
shadowwolf656 8
go buy a pistol learn how to use it very well and get your concealed carry permit either that or take a self defense course