Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML
Today, on the way to class, I got distracted while watching some ducks and walked face-first into a concrete pole. I ended up with a black eye and three stitches. Even the nurse laughed. FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML
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Top comments
DjMonroe95 11
I bet the cat got your tongue after that one.
Snowkeys 11
You gotta be kitten me. Did you fall on a box of angry abandoned kittens?
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Comments (110)
VoodooPriestess 16
Well I'm not quite sure how you got attacked where you say you did, but I've met a feral kitten before and you don't ever wanna f*** with them.
onorexveritas 24
so they were wild kittens?
anchorsaweigh003 13
Technically, that's a violation of doctor/patient confidentiality act, or more commonly known as the HIPAA Privacy Rule. They could get in a LOT of trouble for something like that happening! OP, you should read more into it and decide what to do from there.
caitiebug1119 15
It took me three read throughs to realize you said butt cheek, not butt crack. I had a terrible vision in my head of kittens mauling a butt crack so badly, they have to sew it up.
alison98hp 8
No shame in this. Kittens can be quite devilish little creatures.
colvindj 22
another piece of information to use in my argument that all cats are assholes.
xgetxbentx 13
Kittens aren't wild animals unless they were a non-domesticated breed. Odds are you either attacked by very playful kittens (this is when their claws are sharpest) or by stray, feral (but still a domestic breed) kittens. For the record, grab them by the scruff to get them off.
whoracle_fml 12
Kittens are vicious little creatures, but they are so damn adorable.
TehGinga94 21
That had to have been the most adorable way to get injured. Be proud, OP! Annoyingly, they were probably showing affection.
graceinsheepwear 34
The only thing cuter would be getting mauled by a little girl with no nose.
Frushsgirl 14
My grandmother has feral kittens on her ranch, I was helping tighten the line when I reached into the tool bag and yanked out my hand with a little cream tabby attached. The asshole bit clean through my fingers down to the bone; those ******* are vicious.