Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML
Today, on the way to class, I got distracted while watching some ducks and walked face-first into a concrete pole. I ended up with a black eye and three stitches. Even the nurse laughed. FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML
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Top comments
DjMonroe95 11
I bet the cat got your tongue after that one.
Snowkeys 11
You gotta be kitten me. Did you fall on a box of angry abandoned kittens?
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Comments (110)
hplover7 11
Actually I work for a veterinarian and the worst injury she every got was from a cat scratch. I don't really thing getting mauled by kittens is any small thing. Sorry it happened OP, and that a bunch of people don't understand. Hope it turns out well!!
BlancSlate 10
OP, I've encountered feral litters. I understand. FYL :(
kzai 16
Your ass got some pussy.. Punny
tj4234 36
To be fair all animals can cause serious injury if they really tried. I don't think people understand that just because an animal is 'cute and fluffy' or is sometimes kept as a pet, doesn't stop it from being dangerous. My grandmother keeps tawny owls. Everyone is always surprised when I say how dangerous and likely to kill you tawny owls actually are. They are surprised because they are 'so small and fluffy'...
ermahgerd413 10
whoa. also hippa violation, get those bitches fired lol
rokolodo 10
Cats are evil!
rakers06 1
That is a major HIPPA violation
radfab 3
You're just a tight leather suit away from being a sexy batman character.
Cowsxgoxmoo78 8
And now the entire Internet knows. Bravo sir... Bravo
jpjb 6
Yeah you're not alone there i've had it happen to me before too but if it's the only bad thing you have happen then your life's pretty good