Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML
Today, on the way to class, I got distracted while watching some ducks and walked face-first into a concrete pole. I ended up with a black eye and three stitches. Even the nurse laughed. FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML
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Top comments
DjMonroe95 11
I bet the cat got your tongue after that one.
Snowkeys 11
You gotta be kitten me. Did you fall on a box of angry abandoned kittens?
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Comments (110)
tigrouficele2012 44
That's why you declaw.
RedPillSucks 33
or learn how to deal with kittens in a way that doesn't require mutilation.
babeababe 16
Was it on a caturday?
OddShoeLaces 13
This sounds adorable. But fyl, must be sore!
megnog 11
It seems, OP, that YOU are the ultimate pussy in this situation.
keverdeen 14
Wild kittens are scary! I know from experience. One of my cats that lived outside most of the time decided to have her kittens underneath the house so they didn't have human contact like her other litters and they were not docile at all. Once they were a little older and ventured out my sister tried to pick one up and it clawed her up her arm pretty bad! Don't be too ashamed OP :) wild kittens are violent! Hahaha
strike2867 13
It really depends how old they are. Once they gain some weight, then yes their hind claws could get some strength. Personally I doubt I would go get stitches, much less tell anybody what actually happened.
kat_a_tak 18
@ 53 - i fully agree! i once tried to befriend some feral barn kittens. they were so adorable, but they really didn't like people and let me know it with their razor-sharp claws. i'm lucky i didn't end up with stitches.
worldclassrager 41
Cats are partly evil...get well soon...
clarinetplayer01 9
Kittens are vicious!!!
buckdharma 38
No op, you got scratched by some kittens. It was the nurses that mauled ya.
chosha_fml 27
Trying to imagine any scenario where this could happen. Would love more info on this one, OP.
Pyro_Wolf 17
That's what you get for mooning innocent kittens!