Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML
Today, on the way to class, I got distracted while watching some ducks and walked face-first into a concrete pole. I ended up with a black eye and three stitches. Even the nurse laughed. FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML
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Top comments
DjMonroe95 11
I bet the cat got your tongue after that one.
Snowkeys 11
You gotta be kitten me. Did you fall on a box of angry abandoned kittens?
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Comments (110)
hailee_windmill 8
If you didn't want anyone to know then you minas well put it on fml
soapmactavish82 8
You were mauled by wild kittens? You deserved to be laughed at
county_kid 6
They were kitten around
godfathermock 19
First of all, how many kittens? And what kind? Regular kittens or where they really cubs of some kind?
graceinsheepwear 34
I guess inquiring minds want to know.
SoultheWolf 19
Cats, especially kittens, are EXTREMELY aggressive if they aren't domesticated. YDI
raegunXD 6
It sounds silly to say out loud. But...kittens have super sharp claws and teeth. My kitten jumped on my leg and scratched a big gash that bled quite a lot on my thigh, even after I cut his nails! I had to give him away to a friend because he was doing it to my baby. ):
zevo1415 10
Patient confidentiality is a thing in the past i guess
yazzieyaz1 18
I had a kitten cling to me in my front girl parts and that landed me in the hospital too.
kevingirl 6
you must be one big pussy to let kittens do that to you. ydi