Today, I told my supervisor how awful my coworker was at her job. I then got fired. FML

Tactical

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML

Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML

Customer relationships

Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML

Undercover

Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML

Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

Nice meeting you

Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words, "You're fired." FML