Bobby M
Ireland
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Chester (Seattle)
United States
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
loser
France
Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done, I went to zip up, then realized I'd never unzipped. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Pain like no one has ever seen before
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
liu_kang
United States
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
box bulge
China
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
eiregal2
Cork, Ireland
Butterfingers
Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
Seamstressed
Italy
It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.
Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML
Top comments
Michaelgee 2
I guess you can you say your fashion sense is certainly "cutting edge" Sincerely, Your useless superhero Bad Pun Man.
hannah1203 2
Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...
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Comments (403)
Bigbugeyes 8
Oh my god! My eyes are watering in sympathy and I'm not even a man!
LWOU_fml 9
Fatality!
jstaines47 16
H
kianabanannna 21
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off.
ReiracsNeve 17
OOWWWW
TheNewGuy03 29
****, I clenched my legs together. You alright now, bud?