FML : Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing...

189

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Thursday 15 September 2011 23:54 / Canada

Intimacy

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Top comments

By illmatic2 | 16

#3297072 - Friday 16 September 2011 8:50

Obviously a MILF.

By ShroomsOnAcid | 15

#3297092 - Friday 16 September 2011 8:54

Big deal, just say "Yes." and continue.

Comments

By illmatic2 | 16

#3297072 - Friday 16 September 2011 8:50

Obviously a MILF.

ElGranOrgo | 0

#3297200 - Friday 16 September 2011 9:11

How did you not tell the difference between the two!?

Blazingcrono | 6

#3297229 - Friday 16 September 2011 9:20

Obviously you didn't read #1.

btnhdude | 0

#3297405 - Friday 16 September 2011 10:41

If Heaven was a mile away...

fistnazal | 10

#3298240 - Friday 16 September 2011 12:37

Would I pack up my bags and leave this world behind?

fthislyfe | 22

#3298493 - Friday 16 September 2011 13:38

You should have said: no, there's more.

zombicidal | 11

#3298509 - Friday 16 September 2011 13:43

how many pornos have I seen with this same scenario

fanceh | 10

#3298741 - Friday 16 September 2011 15:18

Take a moment, chew it over with Twix.

awagh666 | 14

#3299370 - Friday 16 September 2011 18:03

Now pornos should say 'based on a true life incident'

TheOptimist | 0

#3303029 - Saturday 17 September 2011 11:36

Pretty sure the porno goes more like, "Today I found my 'girlfriend' sunbathing in her backyard. She wasn't wearing any clothes, so I started to have sex with her, until I relised it was my girlfriends mom. We kept going at it and my girlfriend joined 5 minutes later.

Christianrules | 1

#3304886 - Saturday 17 September 2011 22:03

Reading this gave me a boner.

hatepineapple | 14

#3305087 - Sunday 18 September 2011 0:01

The FML never states if it was the mother or the father. :)

shooterbuddy | 8

#3314231 - Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:28

You got style.

humorizer | 14

#3317723 - Tuesday 20 September 2011 18:29

I got the impression that the mother/father popped up behind them somewhere after he began molesting their daughter.

pantherpride98 | 10

#3388802 - Wednesday 5 October 2011 1:07

Lovely info. How old r u?

By ShroomsOnAcid | 15

#3297092 - Friday 16 September 2011 8:54

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Suchagoonnn | 4

#3297225 - Friday 16 September 2011 9:20

Sounds like a porno

stephan18 | 23

#3297305 - Friday 16 September 2011 9:50

You know she wanted some, but don't do it since it could cause one of those "Today, I found out about my mom and boyfriend" FMLs.

kbball95 | 7

#3301534 - Saturday 17 September 2011 2:20

Gross

By transalex | 4

#3297105 - Friday 16 September 2011 8:56

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

piwikiwi93 | 0

#3308527 - Monday 19 September 2011 0:00

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

piwikiwi93 | 0

#3308532 - Monday 19 September 2011 0:02

Let me correct that, a threesome with the mother and daughter and the mother would be going with the daughter now... YOUR SUCH A PERV

BrotherPhil | 32

#5514700 - Friday 31 May 2013 11:01

Bloke is in a bar, and an attractive woman of about 50 asks him if he fancies a sportsman's double. He figures her daughter must be in her 20s, so he agrees eagerly. They get to her place, and she goes to the foot of the stairs, and calls up "Hey Mum, are you awake?"

By enonymous | 8

#3297124 - Friday 16 September 2011 8:58

Was this before or after she put her dentures back in? I prefer her dentures out. Nothing worse than a chick with a biting reflex

sean0120 | 3

#3297983 - Friday 16 September 2011 10:53

that's disgusting...

leadman1989 | 15

#3298014 - Friday 16 September 2011 11:08

Uh oh boner D:

nope no boner... you killed it!!!

>:(

TaylorRenee444 | 0

#3300373 - Friday 16 September 2011 22:11

What the fuck dude

airjordan6_fml | 1

#3304661 - Saturday 17 September 2011 20:36

Ur a faggot

LilTiki559 | 13

#3320166 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 4:49

you guys take shit too seriously..

By tsim_fml | 0

#3297129 - Friday 16 September 2011 8:58

Very understandable and calm mom. When you get your girl pregnant there shouldn't be any issues.

randomstudios | 0

#3302483 - Saturday 17 September 2011 6:26

I would like this but there are 69 likes

By Freeze_fml | 16

#3297135 - Friday 16 September 2011 8:59

That's not how you get on good terms with the parents.

slushpup9696 | 12

#3297327 - Friday 16 September 2011 10:06

It's how you get on great terms on one and awful terms with the other.

They should balance out, right?

leadman1989 | 15

#3298009 - Friday 16 September 2011 11:04

Until the dad decides to clothes line him, for him being the reason his wife won't sleep with him.

;)

By s0m3guy2010 | 21

#3297196 - Friday 16 September 2011 9:10

I bet OP really wishes he had a moment with a Twix bar.

oilfan11 | 0

#3300519 - Friday 16 September 2011 23:07

Omg thats a good one lol

slushpup9696 | 12

#3303056 - Saturday 17 September 2011 11:53

95, you should point it out in a comment for no reason at all.

...oh hey! A comment!

Rainbow_dumpster | 26

#3312724 - Monday 19 September 2011 21:54

You are a winner, #7. Really! xDDD;;

By JEHughes | 13

#3297203 - Friday 16 September 2011 9:13

what did you say? and if she didn't say stop there would always be those awkward family get togethers you were invited too.

By gunner2590 | 0

#3297215 - Friday 16 September 2011 9:15

I love this post. I give her props for being a down to earth mom and not flipping out. Furthermore... She didn't flip out. Next time you fall asleep on their couch momma might be coming your way.