Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML
Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML
Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML
Today, to get my mind off being single, I texted some friends. The first one was going out tonight to work things out with her ex, the second told me about his amazing new girlfriend, and the third replied an hour later with, "Sorry, I was having sex when you texted me." FML
Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number, I wanted to mess with my girlfriend a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML
Today, I checked my husband's phone, as mine was dead. When I opened it, I saw a text conversation with his friend. He recently said, "Man you just gotta ignore your wife more. I stopped paying so much attention to mine and next thing I knew she was all over me, it's awesome." FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
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Top comments
grumpy94533 11
:( ouch. Sorry
micha090 21
Dump the bitch OP. You deserve better.
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Comments (182)
legalizenow 16
Divorce.
codlover23 6
I would just not even come home
sosoram 23
that's when you pretend it's a wrong #, apologize then leave work and go home after stopping at the gun shop of course.
nicopo_fml 11
I see you're from Utah, so this is an easy one. Just let THIS wife go away with that guy. I mean you still have like 3-4 more wives to choose from right?
dmoneycash 13
This is probably one of the saddest FML's I've read in a long time.
thejust666 6
Burn all of her shit
hateevryone 14
So basically your so-called wife just gave herself up.
splitintwo 6
Id go home and show her the text. And tell her she has 12 hours to get out of my house
FrankHotpants 31
I'd like to think that she was joking too but the reality is this sort of thing is not uncommon at all.
worldclassrager 39
Well now you know about the affair...but you still can surprise her...