Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
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Top comments
AliMarie 0
Uh. . .this just confuses me.
Tribulations 0
That is undoubtedly the worst tattoo ever worn by anyone ever.
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Comments (100)
aback 5
Some of us have to get drunk to fall and hurt ourselves. It's nice to know that others are high on life.
youthink_fml 0
Fake tattoo? How old are you? 12? Even if it WAS a spider, you freaked out enough to fall? Failure on two counts.
The_Advice_Guy 0
You are aware that she lives in Australia.That's a place where you wake up and have to battle eleven of the world most dangerous spiders just to use the washroom.Not to mention other such beasts...
aussieoioioi 0
Not really.... ive only ever seen a deadly spider once, and it was on a campsite and i go camping at least once a month :P and in general, depending on where you live there arent many spiders... like in the cities youd only see a small number a year but i see where youre coming from :)
AnnieIsTheShizz 0
Um, not only 12 year olds get scared by spiders, she may have arachnaphobia or just might not like spiders very much, it's not like they are cute and fluffy. Seriously, I bet you would have done the same thing.
perdix 31
You ought to shower with "afraid of shadow" girl so one of you idiots can cushion the fall of the other. You could also invent the genre of comically slapstick clumsy lesbo ****.
omghehehe 0
(hahaha) maybe they are related :D Btw, not all females are like this. Really
Fuzzy_Mama_Llama 0
Wow people. It's really not that hard to understand.... She's just really dumb is all.
jackkerouc9 0
Blonde alert is in effect.
RushFanatic 0
Hahahahaha!!! This made my day. *clicks add to favorites*
containsnosoy 0
Why would you put on a temp tattoo right before your shower?
no0000ob 0
lol ur so rite
yehr 0
she didn't say she put in on right before. She just said she put it on, then when she had a shower, blah blah blah
Expertfail 0
Anyone else this that this is an 'only a woman could manage it' FML?
Intoxicunt 6
Anyone else "this" that this is the most inept attempt at a comment ever? I don't know what drugs you're on or what injury you sustained to your head, but it negates whatever small amount of truth could possibly be in your sexist comment.
binaryalice 0
pwn.
drummer_dude 0
I don't get why some people don't get it, are they stupid? OP, sounds painful :( FYL
Glam_fml 0
I think half of the commenters here are even more stupid than the OP. Honestly, it is not that hard to understand. I'm surprised some of you can even manage ro turn on a computer...