What?

Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML

Idiot tax

Today, my boyfriend came home, complaining about not having enough money for bills. He then pulled a stack of lottery tickets out of his bag, saying, "I hope one of these wins." FML

Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML

Teamwork

Today, at my workplace, $200 checks were given to every employee for how well the corporation was doing. The temps didn't get any. Guess who was the only temp. FML

Grateful

Today, it was sister’s birthday. I decided to give her money instead of a present, because I couldn’t come up with a gift idea. When she opened the envelope and took the $100 out, she looked at me and asked me if this was the best I could’ve done. FML

Thrifty

Today, even though I recently started earning $75000 per year, my partner still got angry at me because I spent $10 online. FML

Today, after having worked two jobs for months to save up for a big vacation, I came home to find my hard-earned money replaced by my boyfriend's brand new motorcycle. FML

Today, I got a sweet promotion at my job. Instead of being happy and celebrating with me, my boyfriend broke up with me because he is jealous that I'm more successful than he is. FML

Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML