By lolwut - 15/01/2012 18:17 - United States

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 585
You deserved it 13 833

Same thing different taste

Top comments

"**** yourself!" is only a phrase, don't take it too literally!

Tell me about it, putting a tampon in my penis felt so unnatural at first :/


"**** yourself!" is only a phrase, don't take it too literally!

Be thankful it wasn't someone else doing the raping.

Rarely anyone gets it on the first try, I used up 6 before I got it. & I still feel like I'm being raped!

alliewillie 22

You must be very young? If you didn't like them then why didnt you just go back to using pads? Problem solved. Not an FML.

jDCrackpot 7

How is it not an FML? From the sounds of things, she's just hurt her ****** with a tampon. If hurting your ****** isn't an FML, I don't know what is.

Jakesterk96 8
skyttlz 32

Sadly my first tampons were cardboard so it was very hard to get it in. Plastic ftw. Oh and I wasted about 20 of the cardboards.

I couldn't use a tampon until I had lost my virginity and a while after that. It was just too painful to use one beforehand. Everyone is different though; just use what you're comfortable with; there is no need to rush.

Tell me about it, putting a tampon in my penis felt so unnatural at first :/

^thank God... I thought I was the only one!

All this talk about tampons is making me menstruate.

It shouldn't be painful, uncomfortable yeah. But not painful. Must've been putting it in wrong which is normal for first timers.

Mine took two; the first one was painful as hell, and the second one was just uncomfortable to put in.

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*still counts* "just had sex" reference

It hurts like a bitch when you're trying to use them for the first time. If it doesn't stop hurting, it's probably not in far enough. Keep trying! In the long run, it's worth the uncomfortable feeling. Also, use a plastic applicator! Way easier than cardboard.

There's even tiny tampons for tiny twats.... Tampons won't break the hymen in 99.9% of cases especially if you use common sense and take it easy and relax. Shove a super in there at warp speed? Yer gonna do some damage.... (yer is not a's the new you're...) ;)

Am I the only one who shoved a tampon in the first time and never had a problem?

j_sheree6121 10

Steviesnm- no you are not the only one, I had no problems either.

These jokes are totally disgusting. Period.

XxHoPPoxX 8

Is it something about all these beautiful girls on fml talking about intercourse that I find hot ;)

All you people are retarded. How hard is it to put a ******* tampon in? Spastics.

GovernorGeneral 8

^do you wanna try shoving a tampon up your ****** and then telling us How hard it is? Or do you want me to do it for you. Unless youre a dude then you shouldnt be talking cause you dont have experience of anything

It isn't hard to do unless you're mentally challenged. And I'm a girl.

Vasin_fml 15

You know there is instructions for things like this, they even have illustrations.

bamagrl410 31

Well congratulations on being an absolute genius. However, the rest of us retards have had a problem or two with it & therefore sympathize with OP. It's not always easy the first time for anything. This included.

wildman1056 7

It would seem. This appears to be such an issue that I'm surprised they don't have a telethon for it.

kristirhong 12

I see what you did there. :P

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jpd1004 0

Asian girl w a nigga? far from tight I c

Why do you put "thekid" after every comment your write? You're not even FML famous.

168- Yeah I hate when people do that! [ImInYourFACEbook] Oh crap! I forgot, I'm not famous either. :/

ShroomsOnAcid 16

168, You're one to talk, with your puny, not even 80 comments against his - over 1000. FML isn't a popularity contest and it isn't Facebook. It shouldn't matter who's "famous" or not, and I think the actual reason for doing that was addressed on another FML. Whatever happened to private messages for private inquiries? Is the idiot parade marching through here tonight or what?

Idonebeenhad 17

^ Not a popularity contest? Oh pleeeeease, I try all the time, so hard, so very hard, it's almost pathetic really. I wish people would like me and add me to their fav lists, but no takers so far. I can't POSSIBLY think why. LOL!

nickkingcool 0

-185 I'd just like to point out that amount of posts does not ensure quality. For example, you can rarely comment but as long as they aren't thumbed down, it doesn't really matter. It just matters if you can make yourself liked. |ArmPit sex| oh and |Bacon| that to.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

205, I mentioned post number as a reference for who's been around longer, and who's made a bigger contribution to the comments. I remember |the kid|'s posts from long before I made an account, but I personally haven't seen 168 post anything of substance. Also, I would have to disagree that all that matters is making yourself well liked and popular. I think what really matters is posting something entertaining, expressing your opinion coherently, and/or participating in interesting discussions. I personally am not here to have my ass kissed, but I do appreciate the support I've gotten. As long as there's even one person out there who's either laughed at or agreed with something I've said, I'm content with that. I don't give a shit about numbers. Lastly, Perdix and DocBastard might be well known, but I doubt either of them sat around dreaming and scheming about it. It's just natural.

epic comment bro.. dunno why anyone would comment negatively lol

Understood where you're coming from, shrooms, but it is definitely pretentious of him to add a signature at the end of each comment. I've always found it annoying as well, especially because his comments don't provoke lol's or anything from me.

Very sorry if their was a misunderstanding, I do normally post at 1 in the morning. By "being liked" I meant that you aren't some asshole that always just annoys the FML community. Now, that is not directed toward |the kid| but to commenters in general. I agree, though, that you don't have to be Doc or Boners or anything, just make people laugh and contribute,your good in my book. "Thumbs up" to me simply represents you aren't a complete baboon who says something stupid like *lol.. at that point your only contributing to a flame war. The quality thing- if you had 1000 grains of bad rice or 100 of good, which would you take? Oh and hey, this is one of the first threads I'm not making a joke about anything! Congrats on taking my funny virginity. TLDR?

Hmm, maybe it's time I set the record straight on a few things, since said records seem to be a little crooked. 1) I'm not on here to be popular. Sure, positive attention is nice, but there are other means to do that, e.g., real life. 2) Most of my comments have received positive responses, thus indicating at least a somewhat positive reception. 3) I simply say what's on my mind at the time. I'm sure at least one of you can relate. 4) I give a negative number of ***** about what you think, but I do consider feedback. I am human, after all. |the kid|

Oh, sure, I don't mind! A fine gesture, TheIsland. However, it should be noted that I've been using that signature for most casual correspondence, to include e-mail, for some time now. So, if we ever wind up sending e-mails to each other, and we are the unfortunate victims of government snooping, then the only thing they'd have to say would be, "Holy shit, bros, this guy is sending e-mails to his own alter ego! BANANAS!" In a parallel universe... |the kid|

I don't see why the crap it matters so much, it's a signature. It dosent matter if your 'famous' or not you just like doing it so you do it, stop freaking out over it(: Ex- -Sarah

iloveyouchung 0
DaleksAreEpic 0

Uh... guys? It's just a signature. How could that possibly be of enough consequence for you to get seriously offended over it?

jDCrackpot 7

Don't worry OP, it's difficult at first. Key is to relax. If it doesn't go in right the first time, chill out and try again later- it'll only hurt a hell of a lot more if you keep trying when you're stressed out about it.

KRS_13 0

The first I tried that my mom was standing over me and it scared the shit out of me :(

You know what freaked me out? Girls were telling me stories about hearing other girls scream while putting them in. Obviously if it's true, they were doing it wrong. After awhile you just get used to it, and they go in easy. And 33- that's just creepy. Shoulda told her she was doing more harm then good.

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*Downvote Mode on* Stick with the pads until your Wide enough. Problem solved.

hotPinklipstick 24

Most of the time it hurts because you are dry, I recommend putting a little water on your fingers and patting it on your vajajay. I know it sounds weird but will help a lot.

Your so right if your stressing out about it it will hurt sooooooo badly

When I first learned aout tampons I was so scared. Then I realized only girls need them

xShannonxSammyx 7

This is one of the reasons I am terrified of using tampons. x__x

Also using a mirror to know what your doing may help, your probably doing it wrong

You will get used to it. Unless you're like me. My ****** shrinks to virgin size if I don't have sex for a while. Over a week and my boyfriend has to be as gentle as if it's my first time. Sucks big time! :(

nonamericandolla 6

Ahh! I hate putting in and out tampons! It's so strange!

#60- seeing as how you're a guy I don't expect you to know these things, so I'll give you a break. Contrary to popular belief, they are painless. If discomfort occurs that means it's not in all the way. The idea that they hurt if you're a virgin is completely false, I've been using them for years and you don't even notice they're there. It does take some getting used too, but they are by far more comfortable than wearing a pad.

Exaxtly. You ladies have to be doing something wrong its not supposed to hurt and youre not supposed to even feel it really

Actually, I find that saliva works better. Call me crazy. But I tried to do it with water, and it didn't help as much, and so I used a body fluid.

True. My mom told me that when my great grandmother firs tried, she accidentally put it in her pee hole and she needed to go to the hospital.

KRS_13 0

#45 yes it is pretty creepy and I tried telling her she was scaring me and she refused to leave.

I've been hearing that the occasional guy needs tampons. You know, because they're total *******. |the kid|

natewilson 9

253, How in the **** does one put a tampon in their "pee hole"?

256- that really sucks. I'm glad my mom didn't do anything like that. It sounds like a scarring experience. *hug* Mom's should make you feel better about your period, not worse!

xixifwadi 0

How I wish your tips were on the instruction paper when I bought them for the first time.

To the pee-hole grandma: That is physically impossible. It was either her ****** or anus.

Stop being a bitch, tampons aren't even that hard to use.

KRS_13 0

Op could be young. The first time we try this it's not really easy. Maybe she's really tight?

Maybe not, but I'm pretty sure a lot girls are nervous and mess up at first.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

My condolences about your monstrous ******, 8. I hope you find yourself a hors- I mean man, with a big enough dick for you.

chels1994 11

Maybe not, if you're loose...

Started using tampons when I was a virgin for swimming, when I was 13. Obviously if she was so nervous about a tampon she clearly isn't ready to use them.

Omg best thing iv seen written on here yet too funny :D

Maybe she didn't have as much experience as YOU do.... And YOU are the one who is being a bitch, not her. Maybe you should start thinking about what you write/say before you do it so you don't look like a fool...

Qwermy 16

SlapofReality, something tells me that sex with you would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

Superbaker123 14

I've never put a tampon in to myself hence my gender but I can only imagine you're making it much more difficult than it should be.

thatcaligirl 5

well when its your first time it doesnt feel right and you keep thinking you did it wrong... its an over time get used to it type of thing

You try stuffing a tampon up a tight hole that is bleeding plus not being able to see what you are doing -_- the first time is hard on some people. Especially if they are virgins or really young.

Like I said, I don't know what it's like.. Lol. Umad?

shoving something up your ****** isn't as easy as you think...

Hence means "after" or "following." If you really wanted to use that word so badly ypu should have switched the sentence around. What you said roughly translates to "I've never put in a tampon, that's why I'm a boy"

I dunno, I can get things inside me just fine. Practice makes perfect.

She made it way harder than it should be, because they're easy to use. And comparing it to rape? Like shut up.

130, I was about to say that, dammit!

DaleksAreEpic 0

in saying that you have zero experience with tampons, you've basically just negated any credibility your statement might have. -_-

LADiiL0KA24 11

You know they got directions with words and pictures so ydi

KiddNYC1O 20

There are a variety of ****** types and sizes out there.

tifani322 13

It was her first time! She was probably very stressed and nervous. I myself am too scared to try anytime soon.

So there are directions to make it not feel like having a long finger up your ******? Nice to know. . .

When you wear a tampon, you don't feel it, if you placed it correctly. If it hurts, you did it wrong. I studied those damn pictures when I first used one, no pain because I wasn't nervous.

Yeah maybe OP went 1. . . 2. . . 3! And just shoved it straight up her ******. And then proceeded to rape herself. Bring own the thumbs down!

Ok, you know what? I need not a bunch of people explaining how they put a tightened wad of paper up their ****** without being uncomfortable. So stop it. It's disgusting.

Yes, but It is hard at first. Every girl probably has troubles. I did. Sometimes it works the first time, other times it doesn't. It just depends on how you do it.

A7X_LoVeee 10

Nobody's perfect I gotta work it, again and again till I get it right

krispeykreme14 4

Practice doesn't make perfect it makes permanent!;)

b0ngs 7

I can understand OP. It does hurt the first time for some girls but you just have to do it slowly.