Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zingline89 18
Gives blow your nose a whole new meaning.
raven1911 3
I hope you have a good reason for staying with this moron
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
mosquito19 14
hmm, let me guess. your boyfriend don't work, play video games all day and lives off you.
osm1989_fml 6
That's a pretty big assumption, considering that all you know is that the boyfriend picks his nose.
joethebiden 8
He's right, it is a sign. A sign that you need to pick your boyfriends more carefully (avoiding those who wipe boogers on walls is a good start).
Tuney_Loons 2
It's a sign that he's a penis and you're better off without him
maphineRAWRS 10
A sign for what? That the penis messiah is blessing him from above? We you'd already know that answer to that ;)
Sanrio90 8
This is really gross, but hilarious at the same time. I'm not so sure I'd have the patience to stay with a dude like that, though.
winkydog4056 16
That must have been a huge booger to be shaped like a penis.
chosha_fml 27
Yep. It's a sign you're dating a child. And a gross one at that - he wiped it on the wall? WTF?!
onorexveritas 24
a sign that he's disgusting and immature
simoncat 11
If you are not packed and moving out by this evening, the signs indicate that you are BOTH morons. Please don't breed.
kashir 5
A sign he's an idiot.