Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zingline89 18
Gives blow your nose a whole new meaning.
raven1911 3
I hope you have a good reason for staying with this moron
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
Enslaved 38
How big would that booger have had to be to empress the OP? Hmmmm.
DespairFaction 11
Why couldn't he just put it on Instagram?
secretsymbiote21 5
respect art.
doodlecloud 27
Well even without the missing work bit this is an fml - who wipes boogers on their wall?! Disgusting. Did you know he did this when you moved in?
conholio33 28
Really???....... Wow *smh*
BlowinChronic 18
I'm shaking my head at the insight this comment gave me.
zepher93 7
That awkward moment when... Penises appear on the walls.
Kiyaralovestolol 14
Haha what a keeper
osm1989_fml 6
Without fail, someone feels compelled to add a "what a keeper" comment to a relationship-related FML. Congratulations. You've contributed something that is neither funny nor insightful. Oh, and it's completely unoriginal as well.
pdp_fml 21
Why not IM you with a picture of the penis shaped booger, instead of making you come home?
buckdharma 38
It wouldn't look as big in the picture.
pradip 26
Why would he wipe a booger on the wall
pickles1994 18
So OP can wipe a booger on the wall and make it in the shape of a ****** so they can have booger sex
Lex016 6
You have my sympathies...