Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Gives blow your nose a whole new meaning.
raven1911 3
I hope you have a good reason for staying with this moron
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Comments (77)
leahmae88 7
Sooo...is he saying that he's gay, or wants sex? Maybe both?
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
A sign of what? That your boyfriend is a dick? :)
buckdharma 38
I have found God. He was hiding up your nose.
qirde_15 5
did he eat it like the toast?
buckdharma 38
yes, but it tasted more like a snot tart.
saffy66 34
It's a sign all right - that he's disgusting, immature and totally stupid for thinking it would impress the OP.
PolecatTigz 5
I find this really unlikely..
buckdharma 38
She picked him.
TheBrochure 22
And he picked his nose.
velly613 1
Your bf made you come home from work for that ? Lol..
BadKitty13 28
EWWW That is GROSS. Ummm time to find a new Boyfriend ???