Love: Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was...

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40093

You deserved it

3364

Favorite

Love

Recycling helps

Father material

"Based on your purchase history…"

By Mandy - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41308

You deserved it

6708

Favorite

By emeraldarcher74 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9177

You deserved it

1314

Favorite

By sad - Canada

Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10036

You deserved it

45821

Favorite

By dee - United States

Today, I decided to sing a sweet lullaby to my two year old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33935

You deserved it

6429

Favorite

By sad_unicorn - Australia - Yagoona

The Intruder

Today, I have to close my bedroom door with a bucket because I don't have a door latch from previous owners. When my partner and I were going at it, we had to stop because the cat kept reaching around the door, trying to attack the bucket and destroying the mood. Cat 1 - Humans 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4843

You deserved it

972

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Upper Marlboro

Today, while crying at my grandma's funeral I was told to man up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23708

You deserved it

1798

Favorite

By stupidboys - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38603

You deserved it

4583

Favorite

By WesJaz - United States

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36408

You deserved it

4438

Favorite

By JazzSpazz - United States

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51813

You deserved it

23984

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I saw that my ex-boyfriend was online and had no plans. I felt extreme happiness knowing he had no life. Then I realized that I was online and had no plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10826

You deserved it

37419

Favorite

By alie - United States

Today, I wore a cute new striped shirt to work. One of my co-workers said to me "I like your shirt. Most fat people don't look good in horizontals." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36748

You deserved it

4673

Favorite

By omfgwhywhywhy - 22/3/2020 19:18 - United States

Deliverude

Today, I had to take a delivery to a known hoarder. I was braced for the sight of the house, but not the naked fat guy and the smell of dead cat when he answered the door. To top it off, they didn't even tip me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1630

You deserved it

112

Favorite

By - France

Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42862

You deserved it

9153

Favorite

By Kylee Day

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. Then when I was getting dressed with him sitting there next to me, there was a silence. He thought to fill it, he'd grab my hand and fist-bump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1388

You deserved it

339

Favorite

By ScorpioQueen - United States

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9461

You deserved it

42997

Favorite

By everythingWASperfect - Canada

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47574

You deserved it

4288

Favorite

By rashree - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24547

You deserved it

3532

Favorite

By Dana O'Neil - 24/8/2020 15:03 - Canada - Westerose

Invest in ear plugs

Today, and every night all summer, I can hear the kids outside playing when I go to bed. They’re so loud, it makes it hard to sleep. The kids have a later bedtime than I do, and I’m 33. I'm feeling like a broken down old lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1149

You deserved it

237

Favorite

By tirf

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27791

You deserved it

10989

Favorite

By nyebust - United States

Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30120

You deserved it

8096

Favorite

By Worst Way To Get Promoted

Promoted!

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1893

You deserved it

138

Favorite

By shreking_bawl - Norway

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32048

You deserved it

3419

Favorite

By Skullie - United States

Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30735

You deserved it

4936

Favorite

By Jeff G. - United States

Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39479

You deserved it

5855

Favorite

By cabatt

Today, I'm a chef and I had a new set of knives delivered. My boss says to me, ''Be careful with your new knives, they're going to be sharp. You don't want to cut your nail off.'' Not 2 minutes later I chop my whole nail off my right index. He jinxed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2150

You deserved it

918

Favorite

By marsbar - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

I agree, your life sucks

61642

You deserved it

20047

Favorite

By natty - United States

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46235

You deserved it

202985

Favorite

By pootie - United States - Miami

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46489

You deserved it

7532

Favorite

By thejbarrick50 - United States - Bergen

Today, I decided to save a few bucks and let my mother cut my hair. I then had to wait in the hospital for attention due to the fact that she cut the tip of my ear off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29044

You deserved it

4769

Favorite

By sauce - United States

Today, after months of looking, my fiancé and I finally signed a lease. We are using my savings to pay for it. This apparently poses a "moral dilemma" for my in-laws who think we should wait to be married. I'm paying for an apartment I'm not allowed to live in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28341

You deserved it

6257

Favorite

By Awkward - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38755

You deserved it

3833

Favorite

By StupidApple

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24787

You deserved it

53123

Favorite

By ScaryBears - United States - Trumbull

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18122

You deserved it

32555

Favorite

By tired individual - United States - Dickson

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47103

You deserved it

3852

Favorite

By Anonymous

Amazon addict

Today, I found out my husband spent us into overdraft charges through compulsive online shopping. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1455

You deserved it

174

Favorite

By Raspution

Today, I received my first customer complaint. It said, "I am a regular customer and when I come in, he is always smiling and tells me he will see me soon when I leave. This makes me feel very uncomfortable." Now I'm under investigation for sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2293

You deserved it

148

Favorite

By -_- - United States - Inverness

Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17659

You deserved it

1767

Favorite

By brokenrainbow. - United Kingdom

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26117

You deserved it

5129

Favorite

By Killmenow - United States

Today, I learned that my aunt, who lives with us, is using our chopsticks in her hair and putting them back in the utensil drawer without washing them. I'm the one that uses chopsticks the most. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2782

You deserved it

205

Favorite

By soon to have a fist shaped hole in my ass - Canada - Cornwall

Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20921

You deserved it

8603

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By caroline081287 | 0

#708036 - Monday 7 December 2009 3:11

Why are there so many people saying she deserves it? Some people wash their faces every day and still get acne because of bad genes or other factors.

By mattk13555 | 0

#707980 - Monday 7 December 2009 2:43

wow lol thats mean!

COMMENTS

By hXcsoccerplaya | 0

#707971 - Monday 7 December 2009 2:40

guess you need it then.

dcbog123 | 0

#708164 - Monday 7 December 2009 4:36

Stop being ugly

Achall91 | 17

#5713123 - Saturday 12 October 2013 8:56

Wow it seems like you both have really ugly hearts. No need to be an asshole.

QUACKATTACK27 | 8

#6009813 - Wednesday 16 July 2014 16:20

That stuff ain't cheap though. So thank her for paying a lot of money for your ugly ass

By mattk13555 | 0

#707980 - Monday 7 December 2009 2:43

wow lol thats mean!

Starchild21 | 3

#708379 - Monday 7 December 2009 9:09

Hey pizzafaces are not cool

____________________________
www.myspace.com/rapid99

PurpleSquirrel | 0

#835998 - Tuesday 9 February 2010 0:44

people who advertise their myspace on every comment they post are not cool.

By minitrini_89 | 0

#707984 - Monday 7 December 2009 2:44

That's a needlessly cruel way to spread the Christmas cheer...

youreanidiot | 0

#707999 - Monday 7 December 2009 2:54

birthday present...

lostfaithinpppl | 19

#708000 - Monday 7 December 2009 2:55

I agree. Sorry, OP.

HelloAllieKitty | 2

#708051 - Monday 7 December 2009 3:17

♥ who says her birthday isn't near Christmas? lol.
xoxo ♥

minitrini_89 | 0

#708062 - Monday 7 December 2009 3:25

Birthday present, yes. Still, unneccesary bitch move so close to Christmas. You know what this leaves room for? Revenge on Christmas morning.

redbluegreen | 40

#708149 - Monday 7 December 2009 4:26

Having birthdays near Christmas can be the very worst, trust me.

But it always leaves room for revenge, I'll say.

By baby_gurl2405 | 0

#707986 - Monday 7 December 2009 2:48

wow bitch much!?!?!?! I know! send her a "proper dress attire for your age" book :P

By TC1_fml | 0

#707996 - Monday 7 December 2009 2:53

Well, apparently you dont take care 'bout your face, at least she does. YDI & stop bitching.

crazytoaster | 2

#708202 - Monday 7 December 2009 5:13

#33 = Win!

MysteryJoker | 5

#708360 - Monday 7 December 2009 8:14

#33, you are awesome

By blakehilli8 | 0

#708001 - Monday 7 December 2009 2:55

ydi for not fucking taking care of your face. filthy americans

DeathShad0 | 0

#708015 - Monday 7 December 2009 3:01

Filthy Americans? Fall down a fifty foot well and rot there.

myfriend_youfail | 3

#708096 - Monday 7 December 2009 3:46

Here's a very simply word equation for you.

I'm an American + I wash my face twice a day + I also use spot treatment cream four times a week + I still have acne problems because my skin is naturally oily and my hormones fluctuate greatly during That Time of the Month = I'm a hygienic yet still-pimply American and you're still a metaphorical herpes sore on the metaphorical arsehole of the human race.

Thanks for playing!