Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another woman in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said, "Let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML
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Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well you kept your sister safe.
whythankyou 19
"Friend", huh?
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Comments (126)
the_aspect 28
very smart move on the condom part.
burninsnow 23
At least you know they used protection.
travislemoine 7
I would have whipped his ass
gabriellaelise26 8
ha plot twist
AnirudhR 16
Best wingman ever!
great_nate 26
So what? Unless she's a minor, that's her business.