don't be surprised if one of these days she calls the police on you because you're a stranger who invaded her home.

I'm not sure who the crazy one here is: the old lady or the one who hasn't been in the kitchen in four years? How do you not ever go in the kitchen? That's crazy!

This reminds me of those paragraphs we had to read in school and then underline the details that weren’t relevant haha

So in four years you've never used the microwave, offered to cook, cleaned the dishes, taken out the trash, put stuff in the disposal (if you have one), used the fridge/freezer, stored food in the cabinets, mopped the floor, or found any other reason that required you to even set foot in the kitchen? What kind of person never sets foot in their kitchen? Hell, I can't avoid going in there, even when I'm not cooking or eating. How the fuck have you managed that?

How much do you spend on eating out? Maybe you should put that into a place of your own.

I hope you don't have her cook for you all the time. I'd blame the cookware being ruined on you too.

Grandma needs a new kitchen and wants you to pay for it.

Time to use the pillow on her.

four years and never been in the kitchen? who makes your meals?

Any chance you’re a walker? A sleep walker, I mean... not Alan Walker 😜