Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
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Top comments
Masochistic 0
What kind of twisted ritual is that? What compelled him to think that up?
skyeyez9 25
drink lots of prune juice, then fart in his mouth when he's in a deep sleep.
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Comments (455)
LordArion201 0
take a shitty diarhea dump on his face in HIS sleep
EV34 6
ha you shud definately do that
dartpimp 0
win
what_the_fail 0
What do you mean? Girls cant poop its a known fact
lolumadbro 0
but in this book it says that everybody poops
BongBlaster420 0
211 grow the **** up. are you 12? what's with some guys and there profound stupidity thinking girls don't poop. everybody poops get over it and stop making the rest of us look like immature retards
joseph11 0
balls
ccc01 1
Tell him to shave down there or no sex. Gets rid of the problem and forces him to slowly Get Over Himself
Dominodev 3
itchy itchy.
SteamyPenguin 46
The itch is an added revenge bonus.
wa2_ev 0
that's just disgusting -.-
turdburgers 0
Are you sure you're not dating an ape?
uhohuscrewedup 0
so have u been coughing up hairballs?
lumpkinbd 0
no she's been coughing up ball hairs
Nailbunny 4
LOL!
pq1111 0
hahahaha nice one. funniest response to a comment ever
renaet 0
@121 WIN! I award you +2 internets.
ariverperson 11
LMAO! THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH.
xxhappyninjaxx 0
I loled that made me smile :•]
MXavierT 0
you WON the game!
nvrfllnluv 0
WIN!!!!! lomaaa
sarcdude 3
yeah 121 that was a good one
AntiChrist7 0
Don't date freaks. YDI
youthink_fml 0
I'm sure this isn't the first time he acted like a childish asshole but you're still with him. YDI.
erjaguam 0
and you are dating him because????
romain1975 0
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sasha_kay 4
lmaoooo sucks for you
containsnosoy 0
I'd love to find out how you found out... is he dumb enough no only to do it in the first place, but tell you about it too? Time for a new bf. YDI if you don't break up.
SteamyPenguin 46
It's one thing to do it, another to boast or tell that they did it.