Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML
Today, I found out my husband is a cuck. After explaining that I'm not exactly satisfied in the bedroom, we were thinking of ideas to spice things up. I suggested buying a few toys he could use on me. He immediately got mad, because he wanted me to find other men to screw instead. FML
Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML
Today, my husband was giving marriage advice to a friend, while I eavesdropped. I heard, "You want more sex? Let her see you flirting with other girls. Sophia sees me tease a cashier or some shit, the second we get home, she's putting on sexy lingerie and fucking my brains out. It's magic." FML
Today, I’m worried that swinging might've ruined my marriage. My wife and I both agreed and we very much enjoyed ourselves. The problem is that the other woman rode me like a high intensity thrill ride roller coaster compared to the same old merry go round that is my wife. FML
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
Today, I showed my best friend proof that her husband was sexually harassing me. Now she's refusing to talk to me, and I can't let my own husband out of my sight, for fear that he's going to murder the guy. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML
Today, my husband has been texting women to see if he can go out on a date with one of them, just because I’ve befriended his friend and apparently, the movie and food I got with the friend was a first date, so now he wants to get even. FML
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Top comments
LovesSushi 25
Well that sounds healthy...
obnum 19
...what? He sounds like a terrible person
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Comments (138)
FightMyLiger 19
There are things you just don't joke about when you're legitimately upset. You don't joke about killing yourself, and you don't joke about killing your lover. Why? Because it happens all the time. I know this is just FML, but you gotta get away from this guy OP. Period.
KingReppin956 15
He wasnt gonna himself
KingReppin956 15
He wasn't gonna kill himself, he was gonna kill her and the other guy.
FightMyLiger 19
Yep, I'm right there with ya. Thanks.
abukaramel 10
Not only do I think swinging is weird, but he is an awful person for suggesting that.
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
Some couples can have threesomes or swinging and have a healthy relationship. But forcing someone to do something is not good at all. Make it clear to your husband that you're not into that and he has to respect your sexuality
Ultimate_No 7
She might be into it. Never said she was it wasn't. He was stopping her from participating.
poncho55 40
OP, I find your FML scary. He sounds scary is what I mean. Get out of that relationship. That is definitely not a healthy and safe relationship and I think you need to take a step back and think about the way he treats you, even though you love him. You should never be threatened and the standards/what's expected for your relationship, each other, and yourselves should be equal and fair.
SweetheartSusie 20
That's not really Swinging dear, that's cheating just without the label.
Faff 20
I understand that this might work if both parties agree, but I just don't understand why somebody would want to. Aren't you just friends with benefits if you're doing other people?
DasHaas 9
Only if you don't understand all the benefits of a relationship beyond the sexual part, I suppose.
Leasha3 14
A REAL man doesn't cheat.
angelitared 27
**** him too!!!
TDWPForDayz 9
Your husband shouldn't even be thinking about anyone else like that. What the hell is wrong with him? Sounds like an ass hole.
raspberryboo 10
couldn't have been me I would leave him