Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML
Today, I found out my husband is a cuck. After explaining that I'm not exactly satisfied in the bedroom, we were thinking of ideas to spice things up. I suggested buying a few toys he could use on me. He immediately got mad, because he wanted me to find other men to screw instead. FML
Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML
Today, my husband was giving marriage advice to a friend, while I eavesdropped. I heard, "You want more sex? Let her see you flirting with other girls. Sophia sees me tease a cashier or some shit, the second we get home, she's putting on sexy lingerie and fucking my brains out. It's magic." FML
Today, I’m worried that swinging might've ruined my marriage. My wife and I both agreed and we very much enjoyed ourselves. The problem is that the other woman rode me like a high intensity thrill ride roller coaster compared to the same old merry go round that is my wife. FML
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
Today, I showed my best friend proof that her husband was sexually harassing me. Now she's refusing to talk to me, and I can't let my own husband out of my sight, for fear that he's going to murder the guy. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML
Today, my husband has been texting women to see if he can go out on a date with one of them, just because I’ve befriended his friend and apparently, the movie and food I got with the friend was a first date, so now he wants to get even. FML
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Top comments
LovesSushi 25
Well that sounds healthy...
obnum 19
...what? He sounds like a terrible person
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Comments (138)
BriannaRWatson 13
If you were going to swing then why'd you get married? Not being mean, just curious. Second of all, don't walk. Run away. Or get him some therapy.
crammer1 6
I've known a lot of people that agreed to swinging to make their partner happy. Some believe it's better to have an agreement and not get lied to, than to have someone do it behind your back. I Can't say I've ever seen it have a good outcome, except for with older more established couples that have been together for years. Not my cup of tea though.
jambupapoy 5
I feel just as bad for the next man you look at.
heyijustmetu 7
threaten him that you will cut his man hood if he even dares to think about that happening
Dracoboxer357 36
79- You advise Op to start uttering idle threats back at this lunatic, after he offered to Kill her for Glancing at another man? Somehow, I don't see that ending well.... :p
ardencred 7
Swinging? That sounds more like cheating!!
panda_lou 11
A lot of people go in to swinging with a theory in their head about how it is going to work. They don't take in to account that their emotions may not be able to handle it. Perhaps he went in thinking he would be okay but actually seeing his wife with another man just made him flip shit. Hopefully they both left and neither did anything with another person and are happy being with each other. If however he has just being a douche and trying to get permission to cheat then you need to be aware that he may still cheat on you without permission. You need to visit a therapist together to work out what's going on. Otherwise I'd seriously evaluate if you want to stay in a marriage like this.
mrstriance94 8
Ditch him immediately! Clearly doesn't love you if he's off looking for something new....
Chigal88 16
Shocker! Lol I have a policy when I'm dating someone that "open" means both parties are free to see others. As a general rule since I trust the men I'm dating I practice don't ask don't tell.
GuinnessGirrrl 8
Leave him... Let him swing his dick elsewhere
interesting33 37
He threatened to KILL you?? That is not okay. That is abusive.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Somewhere a lawyer is jumping for joy.