Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML
Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
vucui 21
Well, that's a dick move.
ItsAUnicorn 27
Was it a vanilla milkshake?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (183)
smurfdoll 8
You shouldn't accept drinks or anything from strangers, it was too good to be true.
sanecatlady 13
That's disgusting! he should be arrested.
sietseld 13
Why would you accept something from someone you don't know? Let alone something you eat. You are lucky he didn't try to poison you or something. Hopefully he doesn't have any disease that he could give you!
midnight165 5
Op... I hope you don't consider your coworkers friends.. And as for that guy..yeah I don't know where to begin.. Sux
allipurrr 10
Wouldn't what he did, and your coworkers knowing about (and laughter about) it, violate sexual harassment rules/laws??? Definitely disgusting! Sorry you have to put up with children at your work place.
caligirllife 11
You kinda deserve it for letting him bring you smoothies every morning and accepting them. It's kinda taking advantage of the fact that he likes you. Though he probably actually hates you if he's putting his dick in them and letting you drink them
Samafilbeit 11
Why does everyone assume OP is taking advantage of someone? He could be the delivery guy, or they could work in a restaurant or someplace they're allowed to drink the smoothies they sell, etc. I had to laugh at OP's name and some of the comments on here, but the situation itself is not funny at all. I hope you take the maximum legal action on this OP and good on you for not murdering any of those assholes.
Amberm13357 8
What a dick move. Never accept drinks from strangers. Didn't your mom ever tell you not to accept candy from a stranger. Rule still applies for more than just candy..
SpoiledDiva__XO 4
Lmfaoooooooooo....;*
KenziDionne 14
That's beyond gross and your coworkers are dicks to the max