Today, because I had to leave the country without notice and... - FML

By gr8 - 28/9/2018 17:30

Today, because I had to leave the country without notice and didn't have reception to notify my college, I have been irreversibly dropped from all my classes without a refund and will have to reapply for January. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2370

You deserved it

501

Tweet

Share

Rock, hard place

Capitalism kills

Great speech, thanks!

By BryanTazed - 22/8/2015 12:21 - United States - Ashland

Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tazed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22572

You deserved it

6581

Tweet

Share

By Sad elf - 15/12/2016 13:42 - Australia - Brookfield

Today, after weeks of tirelessly organising a Secret Santa with work colleagues, we finally exchanged gifts. I got a stapler, which had been stolen from my desk the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8786

You deserved it

643

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/9/2014 18:28 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42094

You deserved it

9479

Tweet

Share

By SocialAnxietySucks - 26/3/2014 03:31 - United States - Houghton

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39197

You deserved it

11870

Tweet

Share

By yes i meant ex-boyfriend - 18/1/2014 21:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56266

You deserved it

5705

Tweet

Share

By Tess - 18/3/2020 02:01 - United States - Burlington

The Haunting of FML House

Today, hidden deep in my husband's closet, I found a shrine dedicated to a woman named Felicity. After further investigation, I saw printouts of my husband's detailed fantasies of phone sex conversations with Felicity. Felicity was his first wife, and has been dead for nine years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1935

You deserved it

230

Tweet

Share

By Can you say "bandwagon"? - 3/10/2012 21:33 - United States

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24307

You deserved it

4673

Tweet

Share

By jake - 12/8/2012 15:49 - United States - Bend

Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32528

You deserved it

2763

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/9/2020 02:02 - United States - Arlington

Always ask for documentation

Today, the guy I met on Tinder texted me about our date tomorrow. He seemed nervous. I come to find out his mom overheard us talking on the phone and wants to meet me. I said OK, that’s not big deal. That’s when he told me that he’s actually 17. I now hate myself because I’m 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1389

You deserved it

197

Tweet

Share

By left alone - 29/8/2016 12:46 - United States - Schenectady

Today, the client that hired us for cleaning cancelled her contract because I was seen "holding a broom backwards." I'm left-handed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14317

You deserved it

928

Tweet

Share

By josh - 19/9/2009 08:47 - United States

Today, I found out that I had my first born child. It's a boy. I found out on facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50588

You deserved it

15244

Tweet

Share

By Anonyme - 12/2/2014 09:47 - France - Aigremont

Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25231

You deserved it

38684

Tweet

Share

By German;) - 19/9/2019 04:00

Street art

Today, I came outside to see someone had written on my car, "I love your hairy butt, pubes, and fat girlfriend!" multiple times. I wouldn't have been bothered if all those things weren't true. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1271

You deserved it

200

Tweet

Share

By Paulshaun1 - 6/10/2016 13:38 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, my mother told me she thinks it is time for me to move into my own place. I agreed with her and went to look at studios/ flats online. She later came into my room, saw me looking at places and then got pissed off at me, saying that I hate her for wanting to leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11137

You deserved it

681

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/4/2019 16:00

Today, I got pulled over and ticketed while taking cookies to the local police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1775

You deserved it

723

Tweet

Share

By the dead never die - 9/7/2019 22:00

Today, after over a dozen separate blood tests, my doctor told me conclusively that my results are perfectly normal for a middle-aged woman in the early stages of pregnancy. Problem is, I’m a 24-year-old guy, so my doctor is very concerned. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2111

You deserved it

101

Tweet

Share

By deflated - 9/8/2009 16:54 - Ireland

Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16693

You deserved it

59215

Tweet

Share

By Anon. - 7/2/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

I agree, your life sucks

57818

You deserved it

7741

Tweet

Share

By GeriGeriBoBeri - 28/12/2011 08:59 - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. A man stopped to help me with a wire hanger. After about 20 min in the freezing weather, he was getting close to unlocking it when I looked over at the passenger door to see that it was unlocked. All the doors were unlocked but the driver's side. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10156

You deserved it

39235

Tweet

Share

By dramaqueen - 14/4/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48943

You deserved it

31484

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/10/2020 04:02 - United States - Holmdel

Miscommunication

Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

459

You deserved it

919

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/7/2017 23:00 - United States - Dover

Today, an Asian man approached me and called me pretty. I thanked him and he asked if I'm Chinese. When I said, "No, I'm Taiwanese" he promptly spat in my face and called me a "traitor to the motherland." FML

I agree, your life sucks

6009

You deserved it

462

Tweet

Share

By AnonymousAndSad - 24/4/2014 23:42 - United States - Waukon

Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47643

You deserved it

7750

Tweet

Share

By adc2502 - 2/2/2018 11:00

That was short-lived.

Today, after getting my first debit card, I spent £60 on porn online. My mum made me print off a statement at the ATM as she wanted to know where my money had gone. She saw everything and cut up my card. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1966

You deserved it

8335

Tweet

Share

By sexyhobbit - 12/7/2014 00:26 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45691

You deserved it

7299

Tweet

Share

By fat_thighs - 29/4/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61266

You deserved it

11785

Tweet

Share

By what's a rimjob between friends? - 6/9/2013 21:42 - United States - Boston

Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55937

You deserved it

4417

Tweet

Share

By larouche362 - 8/6/2016 03:01 - United States - Weare

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks

14801

You deserved it

1328

Tweet

Share

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/9/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12672

You deserved it

1639

Tweet

Share

By bill - 24/10/2012 11:14 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29888

You deserved it

2653

Tweet

Share

By "BunnysKitty" - 10/7/2017 22:30 - United States - Columbia City

Today, I wanted to pack my lunch with some of my homemade meatloaf leftover from last night's dinner, but I couldn't find it anywhere in my fridge. Later in the evening, my boyfriend's parents invited us over for dinner. They served meatloaf. The meatloaf they stole from my fridge last night when they visited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5685

You deserved it

337

Tweet

Share

By bruh - 20/7/2019 06:20

Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2424

You deserved it

178

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/8/2019 20:00

Today, I learned that the gong my job installed less than 30 feet from my desk is being moved, due to noise complaints. To the office building I'm moving to in a few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1432

You deserved it

97

Tweet

Share

By hwood - 9/9/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, my Grandmother was sent to the ER. My family blamed it on her being allergic to my cats, making me feel guilty. She just called me to tell me the test results informed her that she is actually allergic to the carrot cake they got her. I gave my cats away 15 minutes ago to a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46368

You deserved it

8167

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

I don't understand!

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4564

You deserved it

569

Tweet

Share

By tanya - 25/10/2010 12:32 - Canada

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16057

You deserved it

40812

Tweet

Share

By Nofreeride - 28/1/2017 18:00

Today, after arguing with my husband over who needed the car more, I thought he clearly won. As the loser, I spent the day walking everywhere. Later, I learned that he thought I'd won and left the car in our apartment parking garage for me while he took the bus to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6857

You deserved it

2034

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/11/2018 12:00

Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3311

You deserved it

465

Tweet

Share

By motherdearest - 21/3/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76171

You deserved it

6940

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/9/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28917

You deserved it

3283

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By SneezyBear | 27

#7700823 - Friday 28 September 2018 17:50

This one definitely needs a follow-up. What made you have to leave the country and how long was it before your college dropped you? What happened?!?

By Mungolikecandy | 19

#7700895 - Friday 28 September 2018 19:57

You had to leave the country without notice? Were you deported or something similar?

COMMENTS

By SneezyBear | 27

#7700823 - Friday 28 September 2018 17:50

This one definitely needs a follow-up. What made you have to leave the country and how long was it before your college dropped you? What happened?!?

By melisssa87 | 30

#7700856 - Friday 28 September 2018 18:33

It’s 3 months to Christmas so January isn’t far away

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7700877 - Friday 28 September 2018 19:15

how long did you not have reception for?? colleges don't do that after one day of missing classes...

By Mungolikecandy | 19

#7700895 - Friday 28 September 2018 19:57

You had to leave the country without notice? Were you deported or something similar?

By interesting33 | 36

#7700966 - Friday 28 September 2018 23:05

I am so so sorry

By hunterseal | 18

#7700997 - Friday 28 September 2018 23:58

Maybe if you provide valid documentation and talk to a dean or higher up they can at least partially refund you