Today I found out that paying $40 for next-day shipping doesn't... - FML

By __shirtless__ - 10/12/2016 03:09

Today I found out that paying $40 for next-day shipping doesn't ensure that you'll receive the item the next day or even the next week. I assumed it was my fault for ordering too late into the holiday season. Turns out they never shipped it. When I finally received it 10 days late, it was the wrong item. FML

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Yappy neighborhood

The student becomes the master

Headache

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 08:38 - United States

Today, I worked 4 hours for a huge mail call to get all the troops their Christmas mail. And just like every other mail call I did not receive one package or letter. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/10/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/suprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

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By oops... - 12/9/2014 05:50 - Canada - Sylvan Lake

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

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By Gage - 27/10/2017 15:00

Today, having moved to Moscow over a week ago, I finally received the TV my work promised my flat would have. A big Russian man came to my door, handed me a TV from the 1970s and left. It doesn't work. FML

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By Bobby - 10/8/2012 11:42 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, while housesitting my neighbor's dogs the phone rang. I answered it and a voice said, "Stop checking your Facebook and take care of my dogs. They look like they need to go out." FML

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By Anonymous - 18/3/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

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By FriendsSuck - 6/7/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I was leaving a cafe with some of my friends. I had to sit in the back by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car because it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/12/2011 10:18 - Australia

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on new year's eve. An hour later I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the new year with my boss. FML

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By failure - 12/7/2012 16:08 - United States - Hector

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

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By Username - 9/3/2011 10:04

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

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By anonymous - 27/3/2013 23:55 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

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By deadinavan - 13/10/2010 12:57 - Germany

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/5/2013 17:03 - United States - Norman

Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/2/2017 20:00 - United States - Holyoke

Today, I was told that when I was in middle school and thought I was considered class clown for either making jokes or acting stupid, people thought I actually was stupid and/or mentally challenged. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/7/2014 00:43 - Norway - Bergen

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

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By lovegame - 28/6/2014 15:48 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, two months after forgiving my girlfriend for breaking my heart by cheating on me, I found out that she's cheating again with the same guy. When I confronted her, she basically said I brought it on myself and that I was an idiot for not dumping her the first time. FML

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By welted - 1/1/2010 05:21 - Canada

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

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By JustSomeGuy - 30/7/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

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By AlyssaBC - 6/3/2010 07:28 - United States

Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML

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By irishbubble - 4/6/2013 12:35 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

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By ihatebeingacashier - 11/7/2016 21:06

Today, I handed a middle-aged woman her change of $0.75 with three quarters. She looked at the change bewildered and threw the coins down, asking if she thought I could get away with only giving her thirty cents. I had to explain to her how much a quarter is worth. FML

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By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

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By ifaisal - 26/2/2010 03:05 - Qatar

Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/5/2014 14:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

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By Jade - 22/8/2013 00:09 - United States - Reseda

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

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By lord kuntface - 22/8/2013 21:33 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML

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By LTJFP - 26/10/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I was at ATandT getting my phone fixed. At one point, the salesman said 'you should see this'. It was a text message from some girl apologizing for sleeping with my boyfriend for the past four months, and telling me that they were moving him out of our apartment. FML

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By Kev - 20/8/2014 17:53 - United States - Flemington

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/1/2012 00:26 - United States

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

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By fuck - 18/3/2015 17:40 - Netherlands

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

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By boudinette - 15/4/2015 10:14 - France - Saint-martin-d'heres

Today, I received the beautiful dress I'd ordered on the internet. It's a size smaller than my usual, just to encourage me to lose weight. I managed to fit into it and wear it all day, but I've now been struggling for a couple of hours to remove it without tearing it to bits. FML

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By Pancakegirl - 18/6/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a friend at IHOP. When I left, a middle aged man in the parking lot offered me $100 to sleep with him in the dumpsters behind the building. That is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

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By jpmetz - 26/9/2011 04:29 - United States

Today, my credit card got blocked. Apparently, my bank thinks buying a $130 flat iron online is suspicious. FML

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By mentallyscarred - 31/1/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 05:10 - Canada

Today, I learned that you can be qualified for a position, be a nice person and enthusiastic about working, but as soon as the boss has a relative looking for a job, nepotism wins. FML

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By Bummer - 30/10/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I found my checking and savings account to both read $0.00. My parents transferred all my money to theirs because "I'm irresponsible, and not fit to handle money." I'm a 3.8 college student and have a full-time job. They are currently unemployed. FML

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By yper - 27/10/2009 16:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/12/2014 20:53 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

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By assgoblins piss me off - 6/5/2014 20:52 - Canada - Camrose

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

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By Kelly - 29/11/2016 18:57

Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML

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Top comments

By quicksandy | 11

#6720918 - Saturday 10 December 2016 5:13

Ask for a complete refund of your shipping and compensation for waiting after ordering for next day.

By imahobbitlol | 24

#6720919 - Saturday 10 December 2016 5:14

You should've contacted them the next day, not wait a week and a half later

COMMENTS

By BeautyQueenEtna | 0

#6720914 - Saturday 10 December 2016 5:03

Did they at least refund you?

By quicksandy | 11

#6720918 - Saturday 10 December 2016 5:13

Ask for a complete refund of your shipping and compensation for waiting after ordering for next day.

By imahobbitlol | 24

#6720919 - Saturday 10 December 2016 5:14

You should've contacted them the next day, not wait a week and a half later

Reply

zeffra13 | 31

#6720999 - Saturday 10 December 2016 10:53

Customer service doesn't always respond regularly, especially during the holidays. Lots of places will take days or weeks to respond.

By fmyinternet | 13

#6720927 - Saturday 10 December 2016 5:41

Man the worst "ship" happens to the best people

Reply

lexiieeex3 | 32

#6720958 - Saturday 10 December 2016 7:16

No.

Reply

Lalala579121 | 27

#6721007 - Saturday 10 December 2016 11:50

Then the people on the Titanic must have all been fabulous. I can't think of a worse ship than that.

By RichardPencil | 28

#6720932 - Saturday 10 December 2016 5:50

You should write a strongly-worded review on their website. That'll teach them!

By zombiekitten87 | 12

#6720934 - Saturday 10 December 2016 5:51

You have to be careful, for some companies "next day shipping" means the next day after they get around to processing it, which could be several days.

By s0m3guy2010 | 21

#6720942 - Saturday 10 December 2016 6:21

I think the real question is if this FML is the reason why you are shirtless. I think this brings a whole new definition to no shirt, no shoes, no service.

By Lalala579121 | 27

#6720947 - Saturday 10 December 2016 6:32

I'd ship it.

By emijax | 13

#6720962 - Saturday 10 December 2016 7:37

I work for a call center and my job sucks right now. A lot of items have processing times and a lot of people don't see them so they get upset when it's not there on time.. be nice to help support our jobs blow..

By ALonelyStranger | 12

#6720995 - Saturday 10 December 2016 10:15

Explain your situation and ask for a refund. They accepted mine and usually won't deny it as long as you have proof of purchase