It's not a competition, but still…

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

Ace of Spades

Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML

No kidding

Today, I congratulated my best mate and his wife on their third pregnancy in three years. It then dawned on me that they've had sex more times in three years of marriage than I have had in six years of mine. FML

Dead bed

Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have sex anymore. FML

Time flies

Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

So frustrating!

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML