Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I realized that my dogs have been hosing my tomatoes with pee every time they go out. Not just the plants, the tomatoes I'd been eating all summer. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML
Today, my boyfriend spent forty minutes making pasta sauce when we had a perfectly good jar of pasta sauce in the pantry. FML
Today, I was enjoying my dinner by my patio window when I spotted a cat roaming through my backyard. As I observed it explore my yard, I also watched as it climbed onto, then took a piss on the freshly clean clothes I had left to dry. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Today, after letting the painters working on my house know that they're more than welcome to use my restroom, I walked outside only to find three of them pissing in my garden. One even aimed for my tomatoes. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML
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Top comments
seztacular 6
You didn't think to wash it first?
Pleonasm 36
Home Made Piss-ta Sauce.
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Comments (73)
Enslaved 38
Pa Pa Pasta Roma To-May-Tah Garlic! Ooo-La-La! I’m so delicious Forget Spaghetti I want Linguine Give me Fusilli, Penne, or Ziti Ravioli Gnocchi or Tortellini ~Lady Pasta (Not Gaga)
Lioness8197 18
Which song was that making fun of? I read it in the poker-face tune.
Enslaved 38
Bad Romance. (:
gc327072 31
Somebody go put this on sirinz.org I'm too lazy.
123_pixy 9
Shouldn't you be washing the basil leaves before using them anyway :/
jogihoppa8343 23
its not the dog's fault at all. you(OP) were supposed to educate it about the importance of using bathroom ..perhaps you were busy having paasta. ..
Talooka 10
It's an acquired taste.
xRezSynn 15
Dogs play in yards...and dogs can't think like humans...what did you think was gonna happen?
000lizzy000 13
Why would you not clean it before hand
zzzmonkey 5
Why didn't you wash it first....?
gothiccandy 9
If you're gonna have any kind of garden and a dog, put a fence around it. That way your dog can't void all over your herbs/vegetables/etc. YDI for not thinking ahead!
kables3 9
Hahaha...void.
CharresBarkrey 16
How is a medical term funny?
FlyingPie 17
What a pisser.
buckdharma 38
Rename your dog Basil. Then it should be easy to convince yourself that it tastes like Basil.