Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
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Top comments
thoughtcriminal7 3
Is your boyfriend two years old? What a dumbass. Try dating someone who acts like an adult.
MrBoredGuy 1
don't ever get a vibrator...
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Comments (396)
lokitachikis 0
How cute,!!!!! :D
lucy8248 0
that means he loves you at least and that he's serious about it....
crazygurlzz1 5
thats hilarious!! a stuffed animal? are u kidding? damn he must really wanna sleep with u
ztormbringer 3
Seriously disturbed fellow. Things can only get worse. Drop this guy, NOW.
lunax_fml 14
he probably had a weird dream with it in it. Either way, he's going to end up being one of those really creepy ex's that you need to get a restraining order on.
kathryn_21 5
He has serious problems.
SammyS2012 21
am I the only one who truly thinks it's cute, even if he isn't kidding?
SammyS2012 21
I find it all disgusting that a lot of people are saying, "dump him! he's mentally violent!" okay, I dont want anyone hurt, but he hasn't hurt her yet (I'm assuming). so wouldn't the best option to be to FIND HELP FOR HIM?? not leave him? gosh, I find it awful when someone has symptoms of a mental illness and everyone decides that the best thing is to ostracize them when the best thing would be to HELP him. and it's a TEDDY BEAR for goodness sakes! at least he's not hitting her! if he does has anger issues, he needs to find a release (like boxing or something). I know what I'm talking about. my boyfriend has some bad anger issues that came up with having a bipolar mom, father with anger issues, and ergo, a messed up childhood; but he would kill himself before he raised a finger to me. and he tries his hardest to control his anger, and I'm there helping him every single day.
nsvoboda2002 1
that is funny!!! but really think about getting as far away from him as u can
doc89holliday 3
dipshit