Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thoughtcriminal7 3
Is your boyfriend two years old? What a dumbass. Try dating someone who acts like an adult.
MrBoredGuy 1
don't ever get a vibrator...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (396)
MelissaLove234 7
I luv ur bf
MellyLuck1484 7
some guys just do stupid things like that. It means they're a virgin.
rockgirl7 2
That's kind of cute :P I mean he wants to be the only one sleeping next to you!
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Wow, that's kind of scary. :/ Be careful, that's unhealthy jealous right there. My boyfriend likes that I have a few stuffed toys around my bed, I even mailed him two of them BECAUSE they got to sleep with me and he doesn't, that way he could cuddle them at night and pretend it was me. You should try that approach? Tell him to love the stuffed animals.
bendereine 11
Ew. Dump the freak.
xsarax_fml 10
honestly if a guy did that that's the biggest turn off..... definitely not something a real man would do...
FrostyKittens 24
I would find that absoutly adorable :3 lol
ohioain 18
This FML made my night. Haha
swimmingcharky 4
my boyfriend has done that too before but he means it jokingly. I'm sure he's just being silly unless he's like completely serious. I think it's kinda cute ^_^
Nederlander95 14
So what happens when you work with another guy and are innocently friend with him? A shotgun?