Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
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Top comments
Yellow_Fish79 11
Tell him he is on the naughty list! Peeking under stalls... >:
allblacksfan 7
I would do the exact same thing. Who would want to miss out on meeting Santa?
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Comments (103)
mintypoison 22
.... Who whistels Christmas carols in the summer? OP posted this late.
TheCatSniffer 18
It's kind of cute in a really creepy kind of way