Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
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Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
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Comments (201)
CPTobvious_fml 0
so what you can't have sex on your honeymoon. Have you been saving yourself for marriage? If yes... that sucks.... That's what you get for eating like a pig and sitting your virgin fatass on the couch for the past 10 years. If no.... have sex later..... you are married now... it's not like it's a once in a lifetime hookup... you will be laying next to that person for the rest of your life or divorce Maybe your doctor told you that because he didn't want to think about you having "fat people sex"
Cormophyte 0
I agree with a bunch of people here. If you're in shape and eat what you should, this sucks. If you're fat or eat crap, then you need to lose some weight and realize that you did this entirely to yourself. And it's going to get worse. My father's like that. He's fat, has high blood pressure, and just had a heart attack a few years ago. He's sloooowly losing weight but still complains constantly as if it was just bad luck that I'd never seen or heard of him getting any exercise my entire life. He gets no sympathy from me, he weighed 350.
saxyblueeyez 0
seek a second opinion lol
666midnight 0
Ouch that sucks Guess he's both happy and upset too, happy because the fun will be about him but unhappy because you can't have sex, plus it seems a bit of a waste of a honeymoon
sneakersneaker 0
Wow... Now THAT'S an FML if I've ever heard of one.
SW11 0
im agreeing with #8
alex_vik 0
Boo hoo, you can't have sex with your wife as soon as soon as you're married.
ChronoZaga 0
If you had taken better care of yourself, this wouldn't happen.
Loony_fml 4
It's ok, you'll have the rest of your life to have sex. Nobody has sex on their wedding night anyway, they're too hammered/tired, lol. At least you'll be getting your honeymoon's money worth because you'll fully enjoy the place you go to. XD
life_is_a_hooker 0
Have sex anyway.... But look at it this way, you're probably not going to want to have sex on your wedding night anyway since you'll probably be too tired to. :o/