Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
Today, I found out my mother-in-law is trying to force me to lose weight, even though I am trying, and have a medical condition. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I caught my mother telling my 11-year-old daughter that if she wants to be happy in life, she needs to start exercising now, because fat can creep up on you, and rich guys never marry fat girls with nice personalities. I was fuming. FML
Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML
Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML
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Top comments
meanmeli 0
lmfao that's messed up
saintdalman 4
Time to start cooking your own meals!
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Comments (252)
blackopsFTW 0
has the op's mother ever heard of a gym i hear they are quite good for losing weight. or the op could just try adoption or cooking her own meal they would work as well.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
192: That would've been a nice little comment, but Jim carry was actually born in Canada.
Bekll 31
Canada is part of America. 192 didn't say he was U.S. born, just American.
ThePeanutLord 0
You think THAT is suposed to be insulting? We Norwegians makes worse jokes than that on a daily basis. Two monkeys face up in chess, who lost? The Swede of course! What happened when the smartest Swede moved to Norway? The intelligence fell in both countries. In what way does a swedish brain and Sasquatch compare? Their existence are unconfirmed. And that is stuff five year olds laugh at in kindergarden. You should see it when major sports competion is on. Seriously. If you actually find your line insulting, it just goes to prove that Americans are a lot more butthurt about their country being the butt of jokes than others. And talking about double standards, you talk about french as "surending frogs" even though they fought way harder and more valiantly through the WWII than Americans. You talk about stupid Polish people, even though tests, and history, show that they are way more intelligent on average then Americans. No surprises of course. I have yet to find a more culturaly ignorant country than the US. There is no reason to go cucumber over a few jokes, we may make fun of swedes. But the fact is, that as a stereotype, many consider them more technologicaly advance than Norwegians, much nicer and warmer to strangers etc. Even though some one makes lighthearted fun of your COUNTRY, doesn't mean YOU have to take it personal.
ThePeanutLord 0
That was a reply to 160 BTW
WiderWille 11
I can't thumb up 201s comment in the app. FML
AlphaWolf24 0
lol just walk up and ask her if she's gained weight, then call her fattycakes
ThatBoyChinks 0
Make her some EpicMealTime breakfast of booze...
montressa_FML 0
lol good idea
TheyCallmeStacey 9
Dude! Not cool