Intimacy: Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser...

By Anonymous - 18/12/2011 10:09 - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 631

You deserved it 17 517

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Same thing different taste

Junk in the trunk

By NotSoClean - 21/07/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 790

You deserved it 8 656

By ppp - 14/09/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 201

You deserved it 3 408

By Laura - 03/05/2012 07:55 - France

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 331

You deserved it 2 603

Firehose

By PissingMeOff - 16/10/2020 13:55 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 140

By tingles - 19/01/2013 13:20 - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 001

You deserved it 8 057

By Anonymous - 13/10/2011 16:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 962

You deserved it 6 323

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 05:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 295

You deserved it 15 550

By SilkySmooth - 28/11/2018 22:00

Today, I realised why my room has been smelling like berries and why sex has been so uncomfortable recently. Apparently boyfriend doesn't know the difference between hair conditioner and lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 763

You deserved it 427

Caught red handed

By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 457

You deserved it 3 050

By silkysmooth - 31/10/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 908

You deserved it 5 489

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:11

Soooo make sure he doesn't have to wank that often.

ACrispyRainbow 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:09

Problem?

Comments

Sparky12486 1

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:54

Maybe if you'd let him have sex with you more he wouldn't need to jack off quite so much.

BrittMcKayla 8

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:56

Fyl for using $90 moisturiser.

DevilBoi69x 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:59

At least it has no wrinkles...

russfml 31

Sunday 18 December 2011 20:00

Keep having sex with him so he doesn't need to ********** lol

Naitsi 19

Sunday 18 December 2011 20:04

hide it :P

hateevryone 14

Sunday 18 December 2011 20:04

pop his ass upside the head

cutielilangel 8

Sunday 18 December 2011 20:11

Sharing is caring :)

iTz_Tune 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 20:15

That better be some damn good lube.

iTz_Tune 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 20:19

That better be some hella good lube.

sucks2BEyouu 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 20:20

It obviously feels better than you, if he's still masterbating while you're around...

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, I learned that the cancer patient in a foreign country I sent money too from an ad on TikTok was a deepfake AI used by scammers. I thought I'd actually helped someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 867

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Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 928

You deserved it 216

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 202

You deserved it 4 714

Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 832

You deserved it 3 735

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 032

You deserved it 5 364

Today, I lost all of my male friends at work. Why? The new girl has my same interests and a prettier face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 844

You deserved it 3 010

Today, I woke up really tired after a night of just two hours sleep. The reason? The mall across the street forgot to turn off their music. It played Christmas songs all night. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 154

You deserved it 2 375

Same thing different taste

Junk in the trunk

Firehose

Caught red handed

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