Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights,...

By mybfthecrossdresser - 20/1/2015 15:08 - Australia - Scarborough

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

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Love

Cold-blooded old times

Superficial World

Hello everyone!

By sadbride - 9/10/2018 13:30

Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I am severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML

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By Anonymous - 19/8/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 21:49 - Australia

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

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By wellcrap - 3/10/2013 05:41 - United States - Carrollton

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

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By Anna - 2/10/2012 17:37 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

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By Awesome. - 15/9/2011 02:35 - United States

Today, my mom admitted that she always makes me put away the dishes because my obsessive compulsive tendencies force me to arrange the glasses and silverware by size, just the way she likes them. FML

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By Salzburg - 6/5/2019 12:00

Today, my sister and I got a room in the attic of an old hotel, while our parents got a room several floors down. We discovered the room was full of bugs. Our parents didn't believe us, so we brought them some as proof. They told us to get over it. We can't sleep. We've killed 50 and counting. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/8/2019 22:00

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

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By love and tolerape, apparently - 1/3/2015 19:24 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

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By Theslacker... - 9/11/2017 16:00 - United States - Coplay

Today, a number of people came to visit me in the hospital, including my grandparents. They called me "weak" and "a cowardly millennial" for going to the ER instead of sucking it up, and blamed me for rising healthcare costs. I had a compound fracture. FML

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By Igor - 19/12/2012 05:16 - United States - Lansdale

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

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By Nastiaa - 15/2/2009 15:49 - Estonia

Today, I was a host during kids' event. I did my job and started to do some funny moves to entertain the kids. I was wearing a top with a really low cut. Then noticed that all the children were pointing at me happily and adults looked surprised. Then I noticed that both my boobs had popped out. FML

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By butterbody - 23/3/2014 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

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By secretdoll - 9/11/2010 07:51 - United States

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

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By Disney - 18/2/2011 22:29 - United States

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

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By thatguy - 21/12/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, I bought a laptop so that I could have dirty video chats with my internet girlfriend. I got home only to find that the only place I can get a decent wifi signal is in front of my mom's room. FML

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By WorkWeirdo - 30/3/2016 20:26 - Peru - Lima

Today, my boss finally checked the presentation I have been working on for three weeks. She called me into her office, and told me everything was dreadful, and requested me to start from scratch. It's due in half an hour. FML

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By Person in Alaska with a Ferret - 4/3/2011 20:42 - United States

Today, I found out that my ferret, which my parents had told me ran away a few years ago, was actually given to my cousin while I was at a friend's house. My parents didn't want to deal with him anymore and gave him away for free. FML

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By elevatorjerk - 2/9/2009 13:01 - United States

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

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By Lady Douche of Asscrackington - 10/10/2013 20:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

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By Jan - 18/10/2013 06:13 - United States

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

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By MyHeadHurts - 20/1/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/6/2019 00:02

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

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By Bestbirthday - 12/7/2016 01:04 - United States - Bastrop

Today, my parents were supposed to take me out to eat for my birthday, but since their favorite child wasn't with us, I instead got a mini order of tots from Sonic as my birthday meal/present. FML

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By toe - 3/2/2015 03:14 - United States - Sullivan

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

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By cumhole - 10/10/2012 02:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

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By fucked five ways to friday - 3/1/2013 23:36 - United States - Stayton

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

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By hiccups - 13/1/2013 06:15 - United States - Canton

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

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By Whoneedsgradschool - 20/4/2017 20:00

Today, my parents gave me a letter they'd forgotten about since late last year. In it was a $30,000 scholarship to a local master's program with an application due date of two weeks ago. FML

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By angryman - 28/12/2015 09:07

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

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By - 16/2/2020 14:00

Oh gosh

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

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By FailBear - 29/1/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

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By floff - 19/9/2017 04:30

Today, I broke a toe. It was not too bad and I can still walk, but the doctors had to tape it to the next toe to help it heal. Turns out I am allergic to the glue on the tape. The pain of the blisters covering two toes and the itch is worst than the break. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/11/2009 03:05 - United States

Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML

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By smiler - 17/3/2010 16:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

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By Humiliated & Heart-Broken - 30/7/2014 04:41 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

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By D.W. - 3/11/2017 00:30

Today, the new Apple update put all of the 100+ nudes I'd sent my boyfriend on his mother's phone because their accounts are linked. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/4/2013 16:26 - United States

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

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By night_fox88 - 27/1/2020 05:00 - United States - Camden

Go out please!

Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML

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By addict - 26/8/2017 13:00

Today, after spending over a year getting clean and sober, I started feeling horrible withdrawal symptoms and couldn't understand why. It turns out my wife had been dosing my food with Adderall "to keep me on track" and just stopped. So much for my anniversary chip. FML

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Top comments

By helloboyzder | 13

#6178836 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

Clever bastard, I've never seen that one before...

By Lebeaugars95 | 20

#6178838 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

He saw the opportunity and he went for it

Comments

By helloboyzder | 13

#6178836 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

Clever bastard, I've never seen that one before...

LikeYouGiveAShit | 27

#6178880 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:37

You've probably seen it. Just never knew I was there... That's how a true cross dressing ninja rolls.

MrConcise | 34

#6178916 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 1:07

For me it's just easier to pretend to be gay, but to each his own, I suppose.

chillandfun | 12

#6179116 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:57

Clearly Op's boyfriend is going far in life. He's quite the innovator.

zman92 | 13

#6179169 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:48

check out tumblr, it happens all the time.

dietbacon | 13

#6179319 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 13:02

not clever at all. 100x easier googling random photos and probably better pics than the one he took...

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6179590 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 20:07

I have a feeling the money goes toward a Steam account...

By Lebeaugars95 | 20

#6178838 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

He saw the opportunity and he went for it

Classy_Sassy_15 | 15

#6179260 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 10:31

It's very clever.

By Vlen_fml | 20

#6178839 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:22

pfft, he honestly doesn't know how to pick his marks, with the right acting photo's are never an issue.

Mizuy | 7

#6178948 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 2:02

But dressing cute and taking pictures is the best part.

anatawabakadesu | 6

#6179571 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:54

#38, your profile picture is VERY fitting for that comment.

By Hollywoodgirl79 | 18

#6178841 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:22

That is actually the best strategy ever...

Ashamed_Sister | 60

#6179167 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:46

...and it's very innovative and most probably he will have some sort of success. I like his way of thinking.

By Exodiafinder687 | 58

#6178846 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:23

That was him!? I feel like such an idiot!

By sk8rdud3 | 24

#6178850 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:24

That's actually pretty smart xD

By ChristinePi | 36

#6178854 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:25

I'd do that if I didn't have an over active conscious.

tonyfan00 | 38

#6179078 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:00

Same here.
Small world, isn't it?

Palindromesque | 21

#6179257 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 10:16

No can resist.

*conscience

drumaddict33 | 12

#6181793 - Friday 23 January 2015 23:08

you mean conscience

By plaukje | 6

#6178856 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:26

thats amazing, he should watch priscilla queen of the desert for the next step

By MV3_Heat_Fan | 13

#6178860 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:27

At least he isn't using pics of you to do it

elcee1987 | 18

#6178983 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 3:07

That's actually a really good point...

theawkwardlife | 21

#6179098 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:32

Yeah and that's only because he's got a better ass

MisterEx | 28

#6179168 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:47

It is also a very good idea. Huehuehue.

By appletreee | 29

#6178861 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:28

Strange- but, effective.