Love: Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights,...

By mybfthecrossdresser - Australia - Scarborough

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

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Love

Tasty!

Summertime sadness

Modern Family

By and he wonders why I'm anxious - Netherlands

Today, after years of torment by my anxiety disorders and therapy and medication not helping, I've made the decision to try hypnosis. After doing a Google search and finding out my therapist is a man, my overly jealous fiancé insisted on joining, "because he might hypnotise you into cheating." FML

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By notawizard - Spain

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

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By Firstborn - Canada - Halifax

Today, I got into a major fight with my parents over my younger brother stealing from me. Their response was to get angry at me for my "tone" with them. My brother is 18 with an obvious drug problem, but my tone is the problem. FML

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By badboyfriend101 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/3/2020 08:00

Rules are rules

Today, as I was leaving a night shift at McDonald’s, a woman wanted to use the toilets. I explained our doors didn’t open until 7 a.m. now due to COVID-19. She wouldn’t take no for an answer and as I went to walk off, I got a swift knee in the nuts for my troubles. FML

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By Dumped

Today, at work, I went to place a small item on a shelf. The shelf fell on me, trapping my hand. While lifting it, the top shelf fell against my chest and the products all dumped on my face. I then realized the shelves were only held up by zip ties. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/10/2020 02:01

Unmissable

Today, I returned to work after testing out my theory yesterday that absolutely nobody would notice or care if I just did not show up. So far so good. FML

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Today, I have peace of mind that I am not pregnant, thanks to my IUD. It's not because of the effectiveness of the contraceptive, but my inability to touch my boyfriend. I haven't stopped bleeding since my doctor installed it 3 weeks ago. FML

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By Savy - United States - Mesa

Today, I was tailgated by a car with his high beams on for an hour. Any time I changed my speed or lane, he would do the same. I finally managed to get away from him because a cop pulled me over and gave me a speeding ticket. FML

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By lizard - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandparents for the first time. When my boyfriend introduced us, his grandfather smiled at me, took my hand, and said in the most polite voice, "Wow, you're not nearly as pretty as he described you." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML

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By Toothless - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I called the college of my dreams to check the status of my application. Turns out they "never received" copies of my transcripts. They did however cash the $70 application fee that was mailed with them. FML

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By buryuntime - United States

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Salem

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 11:02

Join in the fun

Today, after discovering my grown-up kids have sent poop pictures to each other since they were teenagers, I had an epic poop that looked like a question mark. So I finally lowered myself to their level and sent a picture of it to them. It got sent to my boss by accident. FML

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By stolen-car - United States - Columbia

Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML

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By somebodyelse - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

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By oldtexas - United States

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

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By notagoodjoke - United States - Vincentown

Today, Christmas Eve, I told my wife she has three presents to choose from: one large, one small and one tiny. She immediately responded, "is the tiny one in your pants?". FML

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By NickJJ - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

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By Mothering - Australia

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

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By duh - United States

Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

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By Katie - United States - Homewood

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Richardson

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Washington

Pretend

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

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By HolyRavioli - United Kingdom

Today, I sat at work for 8 hours daydreaming about the homemade 4 cheese ravioli I would come home to after spending 3 hours making it from scratch the night before. When I finally got home and heated the ravioli, I dropped it all over my feet, giving me second degree burns. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Rochester

Today, I fractured my shinbone after slipping on a leaf. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - North Bay

Today, my girlfriend sent me a text message confessing that she's been cheating on me. Apparently she regretted telling me the truth, because when I confronted her face-to-face, she claimed her roommate had sent it as a prank. She doesn't have a roommate. FML

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By StairwayToEvan92

Today, I ran over a recently-killed skunk in the road. My truck now smells absolutely rancid, and the smell will probably last for months. At least it goes well with my dog, who was also skunked 6 weeks ago. FML

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By Anonymous

Baby, You Can Drive My Car

Today, I had a bad and very unenthusiastic one night stand and tried to quietly order an Uber while she was getting dressed. Turns out, she's an Uber driver and being as she was in the area, the alert came over her phone. She was furious. FML

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By Leota - United States

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

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By iammike - United States

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

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By "syd_the_kidd_9707"

Today, I went in my car to a very important job interview. I was out of gas, so I had to get some on the way. When i was done pumping, I went to get back in and the door handle broke off on the driver's side. Then I blew a tire on a piece of metal. Needless to say, I lost my chance. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Lowell

Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML

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By socially awkward - United States

Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML

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By tortureromoretorture - United States - West Islip

Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I'm grieving over the death of my best friend of 9 years. My mom wasted no time arriving at the conclusion that I must be hormonal and pregnant with his child. Apparently it's not normal for a woman to cry so much over a man, unless they've been fucking. FML

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By Ser17 - United States

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

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Top comments

By helloboyzder | 13

#6178836 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

Clever bastard, I've never seen that one before...

By Lebeaugars95 | 20

#6178838 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

He saw the opportunity and he went for it

COMMENTS

By helloboyzder | 13

#6178836 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

Clever bastard, I've never seen that one before...

LikeYouGiveAShit | 27

#6178880 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:37

You've probably seen it. Just never knew I was there... That's how a true cross dressing ninja rolls.

MrConcise | 34

#6178916 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 1:07

For me it's just easier to pretend to be gay, but to each his own, I suppose.

chillandfun | 12

#6179116 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:57

Clearly Op's boyfriend is going far in life. He's quite the innovator.

zman92 | 13

#6179169 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:48

check out tumblr, it happens all the time.

dietbacon | 13

#6179319 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 13:02

not clever at all. 100x easier googling random photos and probably better pics than the one he took...

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6179590 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 20:07

I have a feeling the money goes toward a Steam account...

By Lebeaugars95 | 20

#6178838 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

He saw the opportunity and he went for it

Classy_Sassy_15 | 15

#6179260 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 10:31

It's very clever.

By Vlen_fml | 20

#6178839 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:22

pfft, he honestly doesn't know how to pick his marks, with the right acting photo's are never an issue.

Mizuy | 7

#6178948 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 2:02

But dressing cute and taking pictures is the best part.

anatawabakadesu | 6

#6179571 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:54

#38, your profile picture is VERY fitting for that comment.

By Hollywoodgirl79 | 18

#6178841 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:22

That is actually the best strategy ever...

Ashamed_Sister | 60

#6179167 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:46

...and it's very innovative and most probably he will have some sort of success. I like his way of thinking.

By Exodiafinder687 | 58

#6178846 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:23

That was him!? I feel like such an idiot!

By sk8rdud3 | 24

#6178850 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:24

That's actually pretty smart xD

By ChristinePi | 36

#6178854 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:25

I'd do that if I didn't have an over active conscious.

tonyfan00 | 38

#6179078 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:00

Same here.
Small world, isn't it?

Palindromesque | 21

#6179257 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 10:16

No can resist.

*conscience

drumaddict33 | 12

#6181793 - Friday 23 January 2015 23:08

you mean conscience

By plaukje | 6

#6178856 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:26

thats amazing, he should watch priscilla queen of the desert for the next step

By MV3_Heat_Fan | 13

#6178860 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:27

At least he isn't using pics of you to do it

elcee1987 | 18

#6178983 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 3:07

That's actually a really good point...

theawkwardlife | 21

#6179098 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:32

Yeah and that's only because he's got a better ass

MisterEx | 28

#6179168 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:47

It is also a very good idea. Huehuehue.

By appletreee | 29

#6178861 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:28

Strange- but, effective.