Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights,...

By mybfthecrossdresser - 20/1/2015 15:08 - Australia - Scarborough

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

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Love

Rock, hard place

That'll be Kevin in accounting

Fashion Police

By MyHeadHurts - 20/1/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

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By Ray - 13/8/2017 17:15 - United States

Das wat u get hoomin

Today, we took my cat to get her shots. She screeched and clamored in the car until I took her out of the carrier and held her in my lap...where she immediately pooped on my new white pants and then hid under the seat. FML

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By YEEYEE517 - 3/9/2019 22:00

The customer is always something

Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML

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By Solo coffee - 28/6/2017 00:00

Today, it's my last day of work at my job of 2 and a half years. I organised to have coffee with my coworkers at a cafe. Only I turned up. I had my farewell coffee alone. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/5/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML

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By hoaloha - 30/7/2012 04:40 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/12/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

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By someonesomething - 5/12/2009 11:24 - United States

Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML

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By potpurri_needed - 10/6/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was doing the laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

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By N O - 27/5/2014 18:47 - Canada - Granton

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/9/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said "Ok, now I can just block every message from you." And walked away from me. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/6/2009 19:00 - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML

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By chinesef000d - 29/8/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

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By hrs220 - 21/5/2016 21:55 - United States - Lake Zurich

Today, I gave a presentation for my final on class. While I was giving the speech my shirt strap broke. I ended up flashing everyone including the teacher. At least I got an A. FML

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By extants - 11/2/2010 20:13 - United States

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

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By FriendlessLoser - 17/8/2016 07:11 - United States - Bristow

Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML

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By Anonymous - 26/8/2013 23:12 - United States - Hollywood

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

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By GoodDog - 9/9/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

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By BrandNewKadillak - 30/4/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML

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By caisse à outs - 23/9/2015 01:06 - France - Saint Quentin

Today, my brother told me that he needed to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Not at all, he was just going to crack open the coconut he'd just bought at the supermarket. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/9/2020 05:01 - Italy

Statistics

Today, I found out that my 7 friends, with a total of 23 past boyfriends in 11 years, have had 0 orgasms during sex. As someone whose sex ed was basically porn, it felt like finding out Santa wasn't real, but worse. FML

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By MissedTheBoat - 14/4/2013 07:28 - Canada - Calgary

Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML

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By Chan - 26/9/2011 01:57 - United States

Today, I spilled hot coffee all over this man at work. I tried apologizing and saying it was an accident, but he then complained, which resulted in me being unemployed. The man I spilled coffee on was my uncle. FML

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By scumbag i guess - 8/9/2012 00:26 - United States - El Paso

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/8/2015 08:50 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

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By gingerbetty - 4/9/2012 07:54 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/8/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

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By elena02 - 21/11/2015 19:45 - United States - Wayne

Today, my house is so cold that I chipped a tooth from chattering so hard. FML

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By jasmith - 18/11/2012 07:45 - United States - Addison

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

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By owned - 24/1/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

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By smashyonewfloors - 31/8/2013 04:44 - Canada - High River

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

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By kellyem2 - 3/3/2016 18:21

Today, I found out that when my boss said she was considering bumping me up to full time, she actually meant she was planning on letting me go. Everyone in the office except me knew. FML

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By RockedSystem - 22/4/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

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By Emily - 7/6/2020 20:08

What's the point?

Today, whilst doing training as a mental health nurse, our glorified pineapple of a lecturer told us that trying to stop patients wanting to commit suicide isn't a possibility. So, what the hell are we training for? FML

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By radicaloser - 25/3/2011 08:50 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

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By Blueshock08 - 23/2/2012 07:03 - United States

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

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By dead - 9/3/2010 00:49 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me because apparently I'm "too beautiful and he can no longer handle other guys always trying to flirt with me." FML

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By imatotalloser - 28/7/2017 05:00

Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/6/2018 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed in my eye. I now need surgery and have to explain to my family how I almost lost my eye. FML

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By Username - 27/8/2011 00:20 - United States

Today, while waiting for a doctors appointment, my husband started playing angry birds. Continually losing the game ended up raising his blood pressure to the point where he now has to have his medication changed. The new medication is $100 copay. FML

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Top comments

By helloboyzder | 13

#6178836 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

Clever bastard, I've never seen that one before...

By Lebeaugars95 | 20

#6178838 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

He saw the opportunity and he went for it

COMMENTS

By helloboyzder | 13

#6178836 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

Clever bastard, I've never seen that one before...

LikeYouGiveAShit | 27

#6178880 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:37

You've probably seen it. Just never knew I was there... That's how a true cross dressing ninja rolls.

MrConcise | 34

#6178916 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 1:07

For me it's just easier to pretend to be gay, but to each his own, I suppose.

chillandfun | 12

#6179116 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:57

Clearly Op's boyfriend is going far in life. He's quite the innovator.

zman92 | 13

#6179169 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:48

check out tumblr, it happens all the time.

dietbacon | 13

#6179319 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 13:02

not clever at all. 100x easier googling random photos and probably better pics than the one he took...

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6179590 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 20:07

I have a feeling the money goes toward a Steam account...

By Lebeaugars95 | 20

#6178838 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:21

He saw the opportunity and he went for it

Classy_Sassy_15 | 15

#6179260 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 10:31

It's very clever.

By Vlen_fml | 20

#6178839 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:22

pfft, he honestly doesn't know how to pick his marks, with the right acting photo's are never an issue.

Mizuy | 7

#6178948 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 2:02

But dressing cute and taking pictures is the best part.

anatawabakadesu | 6

#6179571 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:54

#38, your profile picture is VERY fitting for that comment.

By Hollywoodgirl79 | 18

#6178841 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:22

That is actually the best strategy ever...

Ashamed_Sister | 60

#6179167 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:46

...and it's very innovative and most probably he will have some sort of success. I like his way of thinking.

By Exodiafinder687 | 58

#6178846 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:23

That was him!? I feel like such an idiot!

By sk8rdud3 | 24

#6178850 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:24

That's actually pretty smart xD

By ChristinePi | 36

#6178854 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:25

I'd do that if I didn't have an over active conscious.

tonyfan00 | 38

#6179078 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:00

Same here.
Small world, isn't it?

Palindromesque | 21

#6179257 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 10:16

No can resist.

*conscience

drumaddict33 | 12

#6181793 - Friday 23 January 2015 23:08

you mean conscience

By plaukje | 6

#6178856 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:26

thats amazing, he should watch priscilla queen of the desert for the next step

By MV3_Heat_Fan | 13

#6178860 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:27

At least he isn't using pics of you to do it

elcee1987 | 18

#6178983 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 3:07

That's actually a really good point...

theawkwardlife | 21

#6179098 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:32

Yeah and that's only because he's got a better ass

MisterEx | 28

#6179168 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:47

It is also a very good idea. Huehuehue.

By appletreee | 29

#6178861 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 0:28

Strange- but, effective.