Health: Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his...

By KJL - 29/08/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 799

You deserved it 3 872

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 973

You deserved it 6 547

By anonymous - 20/03/2012 22:33 - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 352

You deserved it 4 031

It sort of is

By AMP4U - 31/08/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 245

You deserved it 7 478

The real Zodiac killer?

By Anonymous - 21/09/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that we should write down all our passwords so we don't forget them. Later, after he'd left, I pulled out his password sheet to do a little snooping, only to learn that he'd written them in some sort of bizarre cipher. What's he hiding? FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 231

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 624

You deserved it 5 201

Breathtaking view

By Anonymous - 04/11/2025 00:00

Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 132

By woundedexwife - 16/01/2010 01:22 - United States

Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 999

You deserved it 2 866

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 313

You deserved it 4 022

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 975

You deserved it 6 847

By Phoebe - 18/07/2009 08:15 - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 847

You deserved it 4 170

Johnothan 0

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

That's hilarious. He's winning

Ads11 10

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

*Twilight Zone Tune*

Comments

yaknowiverse 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 17:19

I think your husband would get along with EVERONE I know....

Zillie 4

Tuesday 30 August 2011 18:27

Lmfao...absolute genius!

Greggorio 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 2:23

..-. --..- ..-.-

erockinthesuburb 17

Wednesday 31 August 2011 3:23

pfft pfffft pfffftttt pffft... That's fart code for "Please, no more Indian food!"

hamguin48 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:35

That's hysterical

yadisingh 5

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:35

No.

lickmychode 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:46

Takes less time to google morse code than you spent on FML reading and replying to this post.

legendboy 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 21:20

Thats... Romantic

wriptidez 0

Friday 2 September 2011 9:03

rofl

tina1213 0

Friday 2 September 2011 23:02

Wow .. That makes em sound pathetic .. Lol

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found out the hard way that my sister has an OnlyFans. Not judging sex workers, I just really wish I’d know she goes by a stage name before I opened the clip. The things I’ve seen… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 444

Today, the person recently hired to work in my spot during my days off started at a higher hourly rate than me, after I have been here for nearly three years. I asked for a raise and got a dollar more; meanwhile, my regional counterparts make 4 dollars more per hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 178

Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 836

You deserved it 1 404

Today, I was browsing the frozen section at the store when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. Thinking it was another customer, I said “Oh sorry, go ahead.” No one responded. I turned to see my own reflection in the freezer door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 132

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 160

You deserved it 3 941

Today, I was fired from my job for wearing a mask. The manager said I must have Covid, since I was the only one wearing a mask and following state mandated orders. I told him, "I'll see you in court!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 231